Because I’m Fresh out of Fucks to Give

Posted: October 1, 2014 in atheism, feminism, fuckery, skeptic
Tags: , , ,

(Trying it again, because I hit the Publish button WAY TOO SOON)

Okay, so I love parodies, and I love writing parodies.  My brain has been busy with dealing with the recent fuckery in the atheoskeptical circles with regards to sexism and accusations of rape and wagon circling that is almost Vatican-like.  I have read posts and comments and a couple of folks have wondered about an appropriate version of Tim Minchin’s The Pope Song:

Fret not, fellow SJWs and feminists and other people who care more about the safety of their fellows over the protection of the reputations of more famous speakers, I’ve got you covered:

(Note: this is an edited version of what I’ve posted privately)

Fuck these motherfuckers, fuck these motherfuckers
Fuck these motherfuckers, they’re all total motherfuckers
Fuck these motherfuckers, fuck these motherfuckers
Fuck these motherfuckers, they’re all total motherfuckers

Fuck these motherfuckers, fuck these motherfuckers
Fuck these motherfuckers, fucking fuck these motherfuckers
Fuck these motherfuckers, fuck these fucking bags of douche!

Fuck these motherfuckers, and fuck you motherfucker
If you think any motherfucker is sacred
If you cover for another motherfucker who’s accused of raping
Fuck you, you’re no longer that Amaz!ng or the greatest

And if you don’t like these raving these motherfuckers forced from me
And reckon it shows moral or emotional immaturity
Then fuck you motherfucker, this is language that one chooses
When one is fucking cross about harassers and abusers

And I don’t give a fuck if calling the “leaders” motherfuckers
Means you unthinkingly brand me a feminist apostate
This has naught to do with fucking godly motherfuckers
I’m not interested right now in any supernatural debate

There are other fucking songs, and there are other fucking ways
We can talk Bigfoot and psychics on other fucking days
But the fact that remains if you provide a rapist cover
Then leader, speaker, author? You’re a fucking motherfucker!

And yes I give a fuck what any other motherfucker
Believes wrong ideas about drunk non-consenting lovers
I have a problem with the sexist beliefs of other fuckers
When those beliefs impact on the safety of all others

But if you build your movement on intellectual authority
And believe it is to benefit others in society
Then you, you motherfucker, can expect some talking back
When people get assaulted and you never fucking act!

So fuck these motherfuckers, and fuck you motherfucker
If you call yourself a fucking skeptic
Then you cover for each slimey motherfucker who says something sexist
Fuck you, your apologetics really are pathetic

And if you look into your motherfucking heart and tell me true
If the good name of atheism is that important to you
With its problems with harassment, abuse, and also fucking RAPE
If you’re all sad in your pants then go ahead and write a blogpost

But if you find this song more offensive than the possibility
Of leaders protecting rapists and treating victims with hostility
Then listen to me, motherfucker, I don’t give a tinker’s dam
And fuck you Shermer, Dawkins, Harris, Randi,
And you can keep your fucking TAM!

 

COMMENT NOTE: Femi isn’t interested in rehashing the same tired-ass arguments she’s been reading from various blogs (All of FTB, Daylight Atheism, Skepchick, Secular Woman, etc.) so any repeats of those will be deleted.  Any comments involving slurs (or trying to involve a slur out of something that isn’t all that bad – feminist, SJW, etc) will be deleted. Anyone who is a known quantity as a ‘pitter or someone who may have been banned on those aforementioned other blogs will be banned here.  I don’t have to give you a chance, this is my ‘house’, so to speak, so if you’re known to smear shit on the carpet, you won’t get that chance here. This isn’t your new playground, and I have no patience for “reasoned” conversation that had already been debunked already. Bye.

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Comments
  1. ashleyfmiller says:

    Rewrites for scanning when I tried to sing it with the uke. Feel free to delete, just thought you might be interested. The song has a tricky rhythm.

    If you think these motherfuckers are sacred
    If you cover for another motherfucker who’s a raping fucker

    And if you don’t like the raving that these motherfuckers forced from me
    And reckon it shows moral or emotional fuckery

    And I don’t give a fuck if calling “leaders” motherfuckers
    Means you unthinkingly brand me a fucking apostate
    This has naught to do with other fucking godly motherfuckers
    I’m not interested right now in supernatural debate

    But the fact remains if you provide a single rapist cover

    And yes I give a fuck that any other motherfucker
    Believes in wrong ideas about non-consenting lovers
    I have a problem with the sexual beliefs of other fuckers
    When those beliefs have impact on the safety of all others

    If you cover for each slimey motherfucker who’s a rapey fucker
    Fuck you, motherfucker! Your apology’s pathetic

    And if you look into your motherfucking heart and tell me true
    If the good name of atheism is of that import to you
    With its problems of harassment, abuse and fucking RAPE
    If it made you all butt-hurt go ahead and write on Twitter

    But if you find this more offensive than the fucking new reality
    Top Brass protects who raped but treats victims with hostility
    Then listen to me, motherfucker, I don’t give a damn
    You are just as morally misguided as those
    Sexist-speaking, hatred-spewing, self-aggrandized assholes
    and their sexist fucking TAM!

    (You could also add names to the chorus by subbing in any of the previously listed names because they’re all two syllables: Fuck this Shermer fuckhead, he’s a total fucking fuckhead)

  2. […] A new version of Tim Minchin’s Pope Song. […]

  3. ambidexter143 says:

    An excellent parody of an excellent song. Thank you.

  4. d4m10n says:

    Just to be clear, which leaders are protecting which rapists?

    • Feminace says:

      Nice try, but you’ll have to find somewhere else to try this nonsense. Ta!

    • FishCakes says:

      Not that the fierce Feminance needs any assistance but… Stop JAQing off! You aren’t fooling anyone with your thinly veiled misogyny and implied encouragement of rape.

      • Feminace says:

        You know, I’d advise against replying because I’ve already banned the clueless, but you know, I don’t care. Reply away! It’s not like they can respond here anymore 🙂

  5. sparkyca says:

    This is awesome!

  6. jbrisby says:

    Don’t you have to actually prove rape before accusing people of protecting rapists?

  7. Esper says:

    All these rapists and yet nobody ever gets round to calling the police.

    Weird.

  8. Oh my dog I want to HEAR this. This needs to be recorded. So badly.

    Also, I’m rather curious how Tim Minchin himself might react to it, but if his own response to “Guys, Don’t do That” is any indication, there’s a chance he might actually enjoy it.

  9. Steersman says:

    You know, I’d at least be willing to concede that there seems to have been some “unseemly” “closing of ranks” that suggests a bit of “pre-judgement” – aka, prejudice. Particularly since, largely in hindsight, Shermer’s case seems to be somewhat “beset” with some contradictory statements.

    However, the case and claims of some of the other principals – Smith in particular – isn’t looking all that rosy either. In which case Shermer might yet still be innocent of the primary charge of rape – in which case the rather unseemly rush to judgment by many might yet look rather “problematic” – to say the least.

    Y’all might want to reflect on the classic Western book and movie, The Ox-Bow Incident ….

    • Feminace says:

      For someone so wants to seem so smart, you sure can’t read disclaimers, can’t you.
      Take the “known quantity bore” act somewhere else, buh-bye

    • FishCakes says:

      Oh look, another disgusting pitter blaming the victim. It’s clear that your unconditional love of Shermer prevents you from looking at this objectively and that you are intent on lending your support to rape culture. Disgusting.

  10. janphar says:

    Heh! It did not take long to attract some of the long timers.

  11. Feminace says:

    Note to the recently trashed comment: Dear Damion, you were already shown the door. Have the decency to stay on the other side of it.
    You are not welcome here.
    Go away.
    Fuck off.

  12. janphar says:

    Careful, d4m10n just might make a storify about this. Recently, he made a storify that “proves” that I am part of A+.

    What he lacks in logic, he makes up for with words.

    • Feminace says:

      He can storify until he’s blue in the fingers. I wish I could care more.

      Oh wait, no I don’t, because I have better shit to do.

  13. Oh goodness, how hilarious. They just can’t stay away! Maybe it’s the Tim Minchin connection. He’s a dude. He should be one of them. You can’t use him to criticize the Dude Side.

    • Feminace says:

      *does the “I just did” dance*

    • FishCakes says:

      Brilliant point, Sally Strange. Tthese MRA dude-bros can’t stand to see other dudes criticize the dude-POV. What a bunch of dummies they are.

    • Tony says:

      I *still* don’t get this. Even after years of being at Pharyngula and seeing this phenomenon, I don’t get this whole “I’ve been banned, but I HAVE to get my comment in, so I’ll try to post again”. If you’re banned, clearly the blog host doesn’t want you there. It’s like they have a Grand Canyon sized sense of entitlement.

  14. idahogie says:

    Love it! Well done!

    I have to ask if it was inspired by canonicalkoi’s comment posted by Ophelia?

    http://freethoughtblogs.com/butterfliesandwheels/2014/09/guest-post-12-kittens-and-35-cows/

  15. I just thought. What would make me the happiest person in the world right now is if I could get a piano+orchestra backing track of the original song (not the one from the video, but from the stage show, simply because, musically, it’s a lot fuller, so packs a much bigger and stronger punch)… with a few scanning changes, I’d go right ahead and record this over that and up it to SoundCloud, YouTube, etc…

    Now the question is… how to parody the Pope Disco…

  16. Tony says:

    Wow, it’s like the fools didn’t read the OP.

  17. I hope you don’t mind, but I did some scanning changes of my own, and rebrought the original second-to-last verse into it. What do you think?

    ——————————————————————-
    Fuck these motherfuckers, fuck these motherfuckers
    Fuck these motherfuckers, they’re all total motherfuckers
    Fuck these motherfuckers, fuck these motherfuckers
    Fuck these motherfuckers, they’re all total motherfuckers

    Fuck these motherfuckers, fuck these motherfuckers
    Fuck these motherfuckers, fucking fuck these motherfuckers
    Fuck these motherfuckers, fuck these fucking atheist popes!

    Fuck these motherfuckers, fuck these motherfuckers
    Fuck these motherfuckers, they’re all total motherfuckers
    Fuck these motherfuckers, fuck these motherfuckers
    Fuck these motherfuckers, they’re all total motherfuckers

    Fuck these motherfuckers, fuck these motherfuckers
    Fuck these motherfuckers, fucking fuck these motherfuckers
    Fuck these motherfuckers, fuck these fucking atheist popes!

    Fuck these motherfuckers, and fuck you motherfucker
    If you think any motherfucker is sacred
    If you cover for another motherfucker who’s accused of raping
    Fuck you, you’re no longer that Amaz!ng or the greatest

    And if you don’t like this raving these motherfuckers forced from me
    And reckon it shows moral or emotional immaturity
    Then fuck you motherfucker, this is language that one chooses
    When one is fucking cross about harassers and abusers

    And I don’t give a fuck if calling “atheist leaders” fuckers
    Means you unthinkingly brand me a feminist apostate
    This has naught to do with other fucking ungodly motherfuckers
    I’m not interested right now in any skeptical debate

    There are other fucking songs, and there are other fucking ways
    We can talk Bigfoot and psychics on other fucking days
    But the fact that remains if you provide a single rapist cover
    Then leader, speaker, author? You’re a fucking motherfucker!

    And yes I give a fuck when any other motherfucker
    Believes wrong ideas ’bout drunk non-consenting lovers
    I have a problem with the sexist beliefs of other fuckers
    When those beliefs will impact on the safety of all others

    And if you build your movement on intellectual authority
    And believe it is to benefit others in society
    Then you, you motherfucker, can expect some talking back
    When people get assaulted and you never fucking act!

    So fuck these motherfuckers, and fuck you motherfucker
    If you call yourself a fucking skeptic
    Then you cover for each slimey motherfucker who says something sexist
    Fuck you, your apologetics really are pathetic

    And if you look into your motherfucking heart and tell me true
    If this motherfucking stupid fucking song offended you
    With its filthy fucking swearing and its fucking disrespect
    If it made you feel angry go ahead and write a letter

    But if you find this song more offensive than the possibility
    Of these leaders protecting rapists and treating victims with hostility
    Then listen to me, motherfucker, I don’t give a tinker’s dam
    And fuck you Shermer, Dawkins, Harris, Randi,
    You can keep your fucking TAM!
    ——————————————————————-

    Erm… I hope it’s okay that I did this. I still think it’s fucking brilliant even as originally done. Mainly just did this for scanning purposes. So… um… sorry if I overstepped and you can delete if you want… or… yeah…