Feminace’s Suggestions for not Getting your Ass Handed to You Online

Posted: April 27, 2015 in Just stuff, WAT

Hello cats and kittens, class is in.

Let’s say I’m in meatspace. And there are people having a conversation within earshot about sweet potatoes. How yummy they are, different types, different preparations, etc.

I hate sweet potatoes*. Would it be a good idea for me to walk over to that conversation and inform them that I think the thing they are talking about is silly/bad/wrong because I hate sweet potatoes and they’re gross and yuck.

Wouldn’t that be considered rude?

What is the difference between that and doing this online:

“Wow, One Direction is awesome!”
“Yeah, I love their music”
“The boys are so cute”
“This band is dumb! Why do you even bother listening!”

Or this:

“Look at this pictures of large women freely wearing bikinis!”
“They look awesome and brave”
“I need to know where she got this one!”
“Gross! I couldn’t get past the first picture!”

Or *sigh* even this:

“Good on those Native actors for walking off that shitty Adam Sandler movie set”
“Did you see that screenshot of part of the script? How is that funny?”
“You mean a Sandler movie’s using lazy sterotypes of an already marginized group? Say it ain’t so!”
“I don’t get what the big deal is. If people don’t like it, then don’t see it!”

See? First of all, you either just harshed someone squee or have made a demand for them to justify themselves to you (and seriously, who the fuck are you?).  Secondly, you’re trying to make this conversation now about you.

So if, you know, people tell you to fuck right off, do you really have cause to wave your burned ass around, or complain that you’re “not allowed to have a dissenting opinion” when those who were speak rightfully pile on?

I want to help you, so here is a strong suggestion: Shutting the fuck up is always an option.**

No matter what.  Food, music, social justice issues, the newest fad app.  It can apply to damn near everything! Just because you have the ability to comment on damn near anything online does not mean you have to.

And this only applies when your opinion is the equivalent of “ew! I don’t like it!” or “explain yourself to me now”.  I’m not a fan of trying to educate in spaces where I’m totally outnumbered, but some have that fortitude and go them.  But for the most part, make it easier on yourself.

I’m just saying, if you’re gonna say something, Say Something.  Make it count. Add to the conversation. Don’t make people take time and energy to deal with you. That is a hell of a lot more rude that any ‘angry cuss words’ I’ve ever heard.

Class is dismissed.

*No, this is not an invitation to inquire of ways I’ve tried sweet potatoes or suggest different recipes. I’m a grown-up and I get to Not Like Things.  I swear, food is almost like sex, if people have decided they don’t like a certain thing, people will come out of the fucking woodwork to either A. act as if my dislike is a personal attack or B. make unasked for suggestions to “help”.  But that is a rant for another post.

**If you are some combination of white, male, straight, and/or cis, tattoo that shit on both your hands, so you can see it before you start typing.

  1. Scylla Kat says:

    Yes, seriously. Seeing people act like this in ways I didn’t like actually taught me to stop and think if I was Contributing or just Wanking.

  2. […] So, to continue the analogy from my previous post: […]