My Sidewalk “Agenda”

Posted: May 23, 2015 in clinic escort stories, Repro Justice
Tags: , , ,

So, today is Saturday and that means I get up early, gather my wits and my cane and stand out in front of a reproductive health clinic, watching for and assisting patients getting inside.  We have protesters and so-called “sidewalk counselors” who try their damnest to harass each and every person they think is going in for an abortion.

Why do I call it harassment, you may wonder?  Because they can’t take “no”, “no thank you”, “leave me alone”, “get out of my face”, and/or “fuck off” as an answer, and when you continue to pester someone after they have refused your attention, that’s harassment in my book and in the books of most reasonable people.

You may also be wondering now, “why doesn’t anyone get the police involved?”.  Because that means the harassed has to make the call, come out of the clinic to make a statement, and potentially miss their appointment.  Given that abortions are rather time-sensitive deals (they cost more and become more complicated procedures the greater the gestation period), it’s not good for the patient to have to wait and deal with this nonsense.

And nothing pleases an anti like someone unable to make that appointment.

Here in the Twin CIties, we haven’t heard much from the far off the deep end anti organization Abolish Human Abortion, or as I will be referring to them, AHAssholes.  This is a Protestant movement who thinks if they bleat for Jesus loud and long enough, abortion will just vanish and no one would even dream of doing such a sinful thing.

Yeah, not exactly in touch with reality, these guys.

Starting a few month ago, I noticed a few AHAssholes at my clinic, standing there, holding their signature signs.

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One is Black and when I commented to my fellow escort that the signs were large and gross, started calling me “sister” and trying to get me to explain why I found them gross.

Strike one: Never call me sister if we’re on opposite sides of what I can do with my body

Strike two: I don’t have to speak to you

Strike three; You’re AHA.  Fuck offf.

Frankly, if you’re Black and find it okay to hang with a bunch of ‘abolitionists’ for fetuses, given the history our people have had with abolition of not only our bodies but what we chose to do with them, then you were fuck out of strikes to begin with.

Anyway, their numbers and their fucking signs grew, and now we have a dedicated little mob.

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They even figured out how to lash their shitty signs to the poles so the wind doesn't blow them away.

They even figured out how to lash their shitty signs to the poles so the wind doesn’t blow them away.

Given what I have seen from reports from other escorts who have this infestation, I was expecting more irrational and obnoxious behavior out of them.

And I was right.  Calling patients murderers, standing by cars until patients get out (a move that our usual Catholics are ace at), fucking around with the property line even after being warned, and just being all around squirrely.

Today, they held up a poor patient who didn’t know she didn’t have to talk to them for minutes, filling her head will all kinds of lies.  I assured her once we were inside, that there were actual counselors upstairs (not 25 year olds with no training in actual counseling), who will listen and honor her choice, minus the obvious agenda.

As I came out, one of the AHAssoles fired off at me. “Don’t pretend like you don’t have an agenda yourself.”  Since “no interaction” is a rule for escorting here, I merely turned to my fellow escort and keep talking.

Since I couldn’t respond on the sidewalk, I will here.  And as usual, don’t expect me to be nice.

Dear AHAsshole,

You bet I have an agenda.  I don’t hide it for a second.

My agenda is to get patients inside of the clinic with dignity and safety.

My agenda is to support.

My agenda is to protect.

My agenda is to make your shitshow difficult to perform.

While you lie, I make a patient laugh.

While you fill them with fear, I give them compassion.

While you talk over them, I listen.

When they give me reasons, it’s because they want to, not because I’m demanding it from them.

And I honor those reasons.

My agenda is access to a safe, legal procedure that 99% percent of those having it will feel relief.

My agenda is choice and honoring that choice.

On the other hand, your agenda is fucked.  Your agenda swarms around people and harasses them.  Your agenda makes you act as if basic social niceties don’t apply to you. Your agenda is full of lies and deliberate shock plays.  Your agenda devalues the role the one with the pregnancy, all in the name of a non sentient fetus.  And I’m not just pulling this out of my ass: I’ve seen your work:

What about the body of the person carrying the fetus?  Don't they matter?  Also, why are you gendering a fetus? Most abortions happen before gender can be determined.

What about the body of the person carrying the fetus? Don’t they matter? Also, why are you gendering a fetus? Most abortions happen before gender can be determined.

With your ridiculous sounding offers to adopt someone’s baby right then and there and your sanctimonious wishes that patients don’t put themselves into hell.  It would be completely ridiculous, if it didn’t cause our patients distress.

It would be ridiculous if you didn’t picket high schools that have on site clinic for their students, like your recent one here at Southwest High?  I’m sure the kids were so moved by this shit:

I mean, these pamphlets start off like conspiracy theorist boilerplate:

AHA Lied To

…and then devolve into the same spit-flecked babble you’d get from those guys who show up at festivals with those big “God Hates” signs that are just a list of things that I’ve either done or know someone who has (really next time, read one of those signs and just see how many “sins” you’ve done or are, like Homosexuality or Rebellious Women or Drunkard):

Look at that.  If you’re going to wank on about god, at least be as ironically amusing as the label on a bottle of Dr. Bronner’s soap.

So yeah, dear AHAsshole.  I do have an agenda.  My agenda is to stop you.  From escorting to teaching about escorting, to writing these posts, to spreading information about what an abortion really is minus your scare tactics, I will use true compassion and education to combat your bullshit.

So stick that, and your signs right up your ass.

And stay off the property,

No Love,

Me

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