Trans Women in the Loo

(I’d say trans people, but let’s face it, most of the people behind these bathroom bills give much more of a fuck about trans women because ZOMG penis then for trans men. But the risks of assault and arrest for everyone is shitty.)

Thanks to encouragement by some groups for cis men to walk into the ladies room and show off their best helicopter dick, here is a short list of things conservative and TERFs think trans women want to do in the loo:

• Whip out their dicks
• Molest ‘real’ women and girls
• Get man cooties all over “women’s” spaces.

 

Here’s what trans women actually want to be able to do in the loo:

• What everyone else is doing.

 

And in case you’re unclear, that’s

• Pee
• Poop
• Wash hands
• Check hair
• Check makeup
• Check clothes
• Change a baby
• Accompany a little kid who needs to pee/poop
• Sit on a toilet seat and cry

 

And hey, because trans women are people too, let’s go for the not so savory things people do in the bathrooms:

• Snort coke
• Smoke weed
• Bone a stranger you just met at the club/bar
• Get into a hair pulling fight with some so-and-so taking up too much space at the mirror
• Drunkenly make new friends they’ll promptly forget
• Puke

 

…And that’s all.  That’s it.  Not so scary, huh?

 

 

Expectation in the Atheism Movement

(I’m going to be talking about atheism and maybe Dawkins and perhaps some SJW stuff.  Here’s your warning: Read my comment policy and yes, it applies to you.

Come at me with anything trying to defend Dawkin’s fuck ups, and your comment won’t even make it through moderation.  Come at me with anything accusing SJWs or whatever of trying to take over atheism or forcibly turn everyone into feminists or whatever conspiracy theory you pulled out of your ass, and your comment won’t make it out of moderation. Try to tell me how you don’t see a ‘movement’ or a reason for a movement, and you see where this is going.

Who knows, I might let it through just to mock you…and block you.  Depends on my mood.

Your arguments are boring, have been heard before, and I don’t care to entertain them here.  Take your Frozen Peaches elsewhere.)

Ahem.

The irony of Dawkin’s smug ass face on featured image of this article is overwhelming as fuck.  And people have been sharing it so much on Facebook that it makes me ill.

Now let me let some of you in on what is apparently a secret in the atheism movement: A lot of us managed to figure out this whole ‘no gods’ thing and/or the evolution thing without touching a single one of this man’s books or hearing him talk. We owe him nothing.

I would bet you good money that a lot of those people are poor, not college educated, racial minorities, queer and/or women. Again, we owe the fucker NOTHING, so in my particular case, I feel no qualms about calling him out when he done fucked up.

(and before anyone mentions it, I hope he recovers from his recent stroke.  He’s still a fucker, doubly so for trying to blame it on the stress by ‘fellow’ left leaning feminist who he deliberately stirred up recently.  So fuck him.)

You know, in light of the re-invite by NECSS, I think the folks in organized atheism really ought to be trying to get involved with actual inclusivity instead of pushing away some of us away by constantly licking the taint of their “Horsemen” because money and/or media exposure. No matter how shit their opinions are or have become about things that also matter, you know, like feminism and racism.

And the exclusion of most marginalized people has been so obvious that it’s breathtaking. Why should conferences have to be told to provide childcare like it’s some kind of gift instead of just a fucking given? Why do people saying stuff like “It sure would be nice to not have all of our gatherings in a bar late at night somewhere where transit doesn’t run or run well” such a radical thing to ask for? Why are big name conventions completely out of the realm for anyone below a certain income? Why do these conventions keep inviting accused rapists and known Islamophobes and anti-feminists? Don’t they know how unwelcoming that really is?

(and at this point, someone may mention that there are people in those categories that I listed above who are perfectly okay with how things are. Good for them. I’m talking about what needs to be done to make organized atheism more welcoming to others like them. So you don’t have to mention it.)

That’s why I support smaller, more social justice oriented secular conferences. Ones that allow talk about social justice issues, ones who have accommodations like gender neutral bathrooms and childcare and quiet rooms – as a given. Ones who take direct responsibility when there’s a fuck up. Ones run by people who try and succeed in having as much of a diverse panel as they can. Ones that give a fuck about actually making atheism inclusive, rather than some special club that you have to adjust yourself to fit in, or have read the right books, or what the fuck ever.

Ones that the big boys probably don’t even know exist.

And on one hand, that’s fucking sad. They should.  It’s where the young folks are, you know, the future our of movement?

On the other hand, it’s the sort of atheism that we need so badly. An atheism that goes beyond “I don’t believe in gods”. One that goes past the dictionary definition and into “Now what do I do about it?”.

That’s the atheism I’m interested in. The one that tries to make the world a better place without god. If that’s not yours, fine (okay, not fine, but I’m not going to waste time arguing with you), but get the fuck out of my way.

 

What a Twist!

Soooo, Texas joined the line of states who, spurred on by the incredulous claims of those Center for Medical Progress edited bullshit-fest videos, were investigating Planned Parenthood.

Now every other state that has done this has found PP to be innocent of the crime of selling baby parts through the black market or for profit or for Satanic ritual or whatever. All of them.  It’s like requiring everyone on welfare to take drug tests: a complete waste of time and taxpayer resources.  Usually spurned on by the same people in the party that is supposed to be all about saving tax payers money.  Irony!

Sooo, Texas did this investigation, and as everyone with enough sense to smell bullshit when it’s on film predicted, found no wrongdoing by PP.

But wait!  It gets better!

In a twist that would make M. Night Shyamalan come in his pants, the grand jury indicted two of the CMP jackasses instead for tampering with governmental records.

My schaden is so freude right now, and I realized I don’t have a whole lot of celebratory or mockingly happy gifs, so I added these to my collection:

Enjoy!

 

Ugh, Put Some Clothes On!

Today in “Holy Shit, Hypocrisy”, kick ass Twitter user @CardsAgstHrsmt has been posting Tweets from dudebros which say one thing…and then some pictures of them that say something else:

Yup. Women who pose half-naked lose the respect of dudes who happily post pictures of themselves…half-naked?!?  Really?

Just look at them, shameless and proud of their near nakedness, posting pictures and showing off.  Would you want your kid to bring such hussies home all like, “I want to marry him!”.  Nay, I say, nay! Just look at how little respect these men have for themselves!

Wait, what was that? I shouldn’t hold these men to the same standards as they’re holding women?  Why, I wonder? It’s not like there’s a double standard at play OH WAIT YES THERE IS!

See, boys (may I call you boys? Tough, I’m calling you boys), what you’re doing is what most mature adults would call “Being a hypocritical jackwagon”.  I’m going to assume that you probably are very aware of it, and are exploiting the fact that it’s a-okay for you to pose half-naked and get no shit for it, while a woman doing the same thing would be buried under the weight of the shit she would receive: creepy comments, harassment, calls of “slut” and “whore”, etc.  And heaven forbid if a woman held the same standards as you do.

“It’s just the way it is!” some folks will argue. “It’s a double standard, but there’s nothing we can do about it! It’s natural/human nature/*insert other evo psych bullshit here*!”

The only ones holding up that double standard are you, while the rest of us are trying to get past that sort of nonsense.  How many of these assholes (or those who nod right along in agreement) might have Tumblrs full of half naked women to wank to? Are any of them fans of upskirt/downshirt pics? Then it takes some damn nerve to judge anyone who volunteers to show off their bodies with the same pride these guys show off their pecs, abs, and chest?

My flabber is gasted.  Or it would be if I wasn’t oh so painfully aware of sexism. Do better boys.

Or at least cover up.  I can see your nipples.*

 

*Obvious Disclaimer is Obvious: Yes, I know the answer isn’t for everyone to actually put clothes on, but for everyone to be free enough to wear whatever amount of clothing they want, snap photos, and post them on any social media site they have access to.  Duh. Now you don’t have to argue for/against it in the comments.  Cheers!

Um, What?

I need a little silliness to make me not feel like my country is falling apart in a hail of angry white guy bullets.

Thankfully, I’ve been provided the perfect opportunity to laugh.  Someone read my previous post, and they didn’t like what I had to say.

Or maybe it was how I said it?

Lookie here:

Now, I’m surprised to see any pro-life anything reblogging my stuff.  I’m still a literal nobody compared to much more prolific and well-written writers out there (I’m mostly a ranter anyway).  But what’s really tickling my funny bone is I don’t even get what this person is trying to say.

Points on using “deathscort”, that always makes me giggle.  It’s such a cute little term they made up to make us seem a lot more dangerous than we really are.  What did I say in that last post, we’re handmaidens of Satan leading the innocent into Hell?  “Deathscort” kinda sums that all up in one simple, silly, nonsense word that sounds like a great name for a metal band.

Oh and the warning for “graphic content”? Priceless.  I see graphic pictures of fetal body parts every single time I get on the sidewalk, and this person warns for me saying “fuck”?  How precious.  Sorry that you live in a world where no-no words aren’t allowed, but I live in reality, and shit is fucked up when it comes to everything pro-life.

As for “what proabort deathscorts think”, I’m failing to see the problem. We support the right to have an abortion.  Duh.  Abortion is a thing that has always been.  Duh.  Pro-lifers publicly condone violent actions while secretly praising them?  Mega Duh.

So where’s the problem? Also, this is what I think.  And I’m only one escort.

It’s also super funny that this FB group has fewer likes than my friend’s cat’s Twitter account.  Hell, the comments on my own FB page has more likes than this group.  Not that it matters, of course, but it’s still really funny to point out.

So yeah, point and laugh.  Maybe it will help us all feel just a little less shitty about the world.

 

 

On the Front Lines

By now everyone’s heard of the rat bastard who held hostages and killed and injured people at a CO Planned Parenthood.  It’s…how do you even start to process that?

It happened last Friday, and I was reloading the local news page over and over, took a nap and went right back to it.  I needed to know when or if they would apprehend this fucker.  And of course they did, alive because white, even though he killed one of their own, but that’s a different rant.

The next day, I went to escort after a long break (I was sick, then Turkey Day, and oh, my father’s been contacting me after like over a decade of silence from me.  Shit’s been stressful as fuck, kay?).  One of the clinic staff checked in with each of us as we suited up, just telling us to be careful, to be aware, and thanking us for showing up even after the day before happened.

Me last Saturday, failing at proper prep for the cold weather.

 

Now escorting has always been serious business to me, even as I joke and make fun of the merry band of fools.  Each patient is important to me, and getting them into the building with as little harassment as possible is my JOB.  Serious business, folks.

I always known that clinic violence was a risk, but Friday really made it hit home.  Let’s be real, we’re practically screaming “Shoot us first” in our bright yellow vests, standing outside.  To these people, this ignorant jackasses, we’re the handmaidens of Satan – yes even the guys – escorting poor innocent ‘mothers’ into Hell. To someone entitled* enough to think that taking matters into their own hands will do a damned thing, we’re sitting targets.

And on the real, that’s pants-shittingly terrifying. Having to swallow that shit and show up was emotionally draining.  I had so many excuses – allergies, frost on the car windows, now I’m tired from scraping all that damn frost off the windows, now the windows need defrosting because I still can’t see, do I really want to do this?  We’re in Minnesota, the protesters are more annoying than scary.  But it doesn’t have to be a regular, it only needs to be one person.  Can I really do this?

I can do this.

I will do this.

I NEED to do this.

Of course, the accusations of ‘mentally ill loner’ are being thrown about because white and that’s another rant.  Let’s get one thing straight – even if he has a diagnosis of a mental illness, doesn’t matter.  It’s the entitlement that is the issue.  Shit, I’m crazy.  My grasp on reality sometimes isn’t all there.  Some days I’m filled with so much self loathing that I stay in bed.  Other days, anxiety fills me with so much dread that I don’t leave the house for days. Also, I know which end of a gun to point when I want something destroyed, and I’m a slightly less than shitty shot.

But the thought of going up to another human and blowing a hole in them makes me sick.  I could never do it.  Many of us with mental illnesses couldn’t do it either.  Fuck, we’re most likely to BE victims of violence, so please keep that in mind as the same bullshit rhetoric we always hear when a white guy gets murdery is being trotted out.

Please keep the three victims of this shooting and all of the injured in mind.

Please keep the clinics that have suffered violence in mind.

Please keep the fact that the faction that keeps fueling this fire has the nerve to continue to call themselves “pro-life” in mind.

Please keep the security measures clinics and doctors have to go through just to do their jobs in mind.

This shit isn’t easy.  It weighs on my mind every Saturday.

 

*I’m calling it entitlement because, well it is.  It takes a nerve of steel to think that YOU, yes, YOU, you special snowflake you, will be the savior of babies for a day or a week or forever by destroying other people’s lives and/or livelihoods with your gun or your bomb or your vandalism or your wee little hatchet. That is some entitled bullshit right there, especially when your actions will have no negative effect on the fact that ABORTIONS HAVE AND WILL ALWAYS HAPPEN, YOU FUCKING FUCKS! You ain’t stopping shit.  You’re just giving the less violent pro-lifer fodder to secretly wank over while they publicly denounce your fucked up actions.  Fuckers.

Your Fave is Problematic: That Dilbert Asshole

Your Fave is Really, Really, REALLY Problematic.
Also, I believe that we will have moved ahead as a species once anyone uttering this sort of nonsense is treated as if they’ve just admitted that they enjoy congress with baby rabbits.
Not just the depravity of bestiality, but the sheer “I’d kick you in the face if I was able”-ity of not even waiting until the poor unwilling animal is mature.
The sort of reaction that is slowly backing away at all times, at parties and dinners and on public transport.
The sort of reaction that when you get on a plane, and you see that you’re sitting next to such a person, you legally get that entire row to yourself as this person is thrown off for being odious by simply existing.

“Congrats, you get the Scott Adams special.  Would you like a free drink of your choice and a pillow that isn’t just filled with air and wishes?”
…until they get the good sense not to utter such junk in public as if nothing is horribly, horribly wrong with it.

…until social pressures keeps these creatures from sharing their foul breathed musings with anyone but their own ilk, far, far away from decent people who believe in odd concepts like “consent”.
…also, if you haven’t realized that Scott Adams is in the running for Prince of Ain’t Shit Mountain, where have you been? What bubble have you existed in? Are you renting space, because I’d like to spend some time in it, please?

At Least SOMEONE’s Being Honest…

I even made it bigger so you could get a good look.

We knew this.  We’ve always known this, and they’ve always denied it.

Sometimes you gotta argue them down to this point.

But it’s “nice” to have one of these assholes actually ADMIT that they’re anti-“sex for pleasure and not for making of the babies”.

It makes it easier to mock them, yes. But I worry.  I worry that even if every single anti-choice flapping lips admitted this, it wouldn’t matter to anyone on the fence.  Anyone who is pro-choice, but not willing to admit it (“I’m pro-life, but I wouldn’t stop anyone from having one themselves”, those people), won’t care to stop listening to these toolboxes.

But it’s nice to hear one of them admit just how pie in the sky their wants are.  People have been having sex for recreation since they figured out what sex was.  You can close down every Planned Parenthood and other reproductive health clinics, promote abstinence education at every school in the nation, make divorce illegal, make abortion a capital fucking crime, and ban every type of contraception except for Natural Family Planning, and people are gonna have sex for recreation.

Good luck stopping that.  You’re gonna fucking need it.

Cry Moar, White Feminists (TM)

How did I miss this opinion piece on Ebony, entitled “You Ain’t the ONLY Woman: The White Cis Grasp on Womanhood Is Failing“.  Reading it made me want to raise a fan and wave it like we were at a summer revival. Praise Intersectionality! Hallelujah Actual Sisterhood! Preach that good word, Pastor Lesli-Ann Lewis, and pass the collection plate!

Especially this line:

If the White man’s burden was to bring the “savage” to civilization, then in 2015 the White woman’s burden is to teach the rest of us bumbling half-humans how to be women.

Ohh, I felt that deep in my non-existent soul!

Given the repeated historical nonsense that comes every single time White Feminism (TM) and everyone else clash, this article was wonderfully timed, even back in June.  It’s still needed.  All of the other articles addressing this is needed.  This article you’re reading right now is needed *dusts off massive ego*.  Why?

Because the same shit keep happening, y’all.  White Feminism (TM) keeps trying to hold on to the mic and hold up all the seats at the table, saving the space for only those who are like them – or who agree with them.  And the rest of us ain’t asking for space anymore.  We’re snatching the mic, we’re sitting down and they will just have to deal.

Sadly, they’re doing more whining than dealing.

White Feminism, when we say “take all of the seats”, we don’t mean “and leave no room for anyone”. You’re not the only “women” around.  Your feminism ain’t the only one in town, and if the choice is your way or the highway, we’re miles ahead of you, leaving you in a cloud of exhaust. Non-white women exist and are sitting down, trans women are sitting down, poor women are sitting down, non-college educated women are sitting the fuck down and you WILL hear us.  We will drown out your ridiculous bullshit, and you will HAVE to deal with us.

It’s kinda sad, really.  The day I read that TERFs who are lesbians believe that trans lesbians are just men who want to force their penises into ‘women’s’ spaces, it took all day to find my eyes, as they rolled out of my head.  I had another loss of eyes when I read various complaints by white women that non-white women are being mean to them when they fuck up.  The rage of reading things like “lynch mob” and “witch hunts” made finding the fuckers a lot easier.  I just felt for the burning, burning heat.

The whitewashing of the presence of minorities from history, like in Stonewall and Suffragette (really, any mention of black or Indian suffragettes?), will be pointed out and screamed about, because it’s bullshit.  Yes, being aware of history is important, but not at the cost of leaving us out.

I remember reading the memory of a 16 year old trans girl being surrounded and threatened and berated by a group of “womyn” at the Michigan Womyn’s Music Festival (may it rot in pieces), and it’s the perfect analogy.  A group of marginalized people spitting venom at one person who is even more marginalized for existing.  TERFs who treat trans people like shit, who can’t even STFU when others use inclusive terms for reproductive rights, are spitting venom at a more marginalized group.

(which is ironic, given that more inclusive language is more for the benefit of trans MEN and non-binary folk with uteruses. But any reason to shit on trans women is valid, I guess)

We have white women with blogs and speaking gigs and published book and articles and shit whining and complaining about non-white women with Twitter accounts.  And THEY’RE the victims, screaming into the mic while keeping it away from the ‘horde’ of loud uncouth women who are being “rude”.

Yeah, because calling out your bullshit is so rude.  Don’t we know that we’re supposed to sit quietly and smile?

Lewis also points out the blatant hypocrisy when it comes to sexuality.  White women “explore despite the male gaze”, non-white women “cater to the male gaze”. Beyonce can pose in front of a fucking lit sign saying “FEMINIST”, be a great role model for young girls, an awesome wife and mother to a beautiful child, but because she signs about sexy things and dances sexy, oh noes, she’s not.

Don’t get me started on Nicki Minaj.  Please. We’d be here all day and I have to go save Tamriel again.

What really gets me is that while all of this is happening, White Women (TM) still claim victimhood.  Second Wavers are crying victimhood when the next gen doesn’t give them the respect they think they’re due.  Yes, they did amazing work in their time, but this ain’t their time anymore.  That’s why there’s a Third Wave, you see.  Either catch up or be left in the dust.  You’re not the fucking victims because time has changed. We are more marginalized than you.  We don’t need your help to “feminism” properly.

Cis women, you’re not the victim when trans people call you out on your bullshit. They are more marginalized than you.  They don’t need your help to “feminism” properly.

White women, you’re not the victim when non-white women call you out on your bullshit. They are more marginalized than you.  They don’t need your help to “feminism” properly.

Do I need to go on?

Say it again, Ms. Mock:

Invoking “Black Lives Matter” – DON’T DO IT

I didn’t want to get involved in the whole “Ophelia Benson reveals her TERFy self” nonsense, given how it’s hurt and tore through my friends lists.

I really didn’t.

The current flap has been dutifly and wonderfully documented by some fine folks and former colleagues of hers, here, here, here, and here.  I’m with them.  “Correcting” an abortion provider for using more inclusive language is shitty, petty, and downright trolly.  So that’s handled and I don’t have to go in about it. Thanks, y’all.

But I AM gonna mention the fucked up comparison of inclusive language to “All Lives Matter”.

What the fuck?

Seriously, what the fuck?

If this wasn’t the most White Feministy of White Feminist (TM) nonsense, I’d eat my hat.  As soon as I get a hat.

This isn’t the first time a white person has tried to invoke BLM/ALM for some other bullshit, but damnit, it’s getting tiring.  You can’t compare a movement about black people being shot, beaten, killed in the streets by cops to whatever bullshit bugbear that’s bothering you.  You can’t.  Because it’s comparing apples to a fucking grenade with the pin pulled. Stop it.

It’s not the same, it’s not remotely the same, and it reminds me why I’m always wary of white feminists who seem to forget that whole “intersectionality” thing. You’re not on my side.  I don’t want you on my side.  Our struggle isn’t fodder for your bullshit.

(Mod Mistress Note: We’re not rehashing any old arguments about “who/what/when/where/why is a TERF or whatever “here. Try it and watch your comment not even make it through modding, kay?)