Archive for the ‘feminism’ Category

So, last night the hashtag #ShoutYourAbortion trended, thanks to one Lindy West, with people declaring that they’ve had an abortion and don’t feel the first lick of shame about it.  It was a challenge to the pro-lie of the miserable sad wretch who regrets their abortion and cries at hypothetical birthdays, either that or they never, never, never reveal such a shameful secret.

Because abortions are something to be ashamed of, right?

BLEH.

I have never had an abortion, though it’s the plan should the unfortunate happen, so I started Tweeting supportive stuffs, like the website for Exhale, an organization where people can call and talk about their experiences without judgement and a guilt trip. Because who needs that shit when you’re already working out how you feel about the abortion you’ve had, right?

Yes, I know, I’m acknowledging that not everyone skips out of the clinic afterwards (well, given how the procedure actually works, there’s probably very little skipping anyway). It can be an easy decision for some, it can come to be an easy decision for others, and for even more others it’s complicated.  Because this is how reality works.

As I said up top, it trended wildly.

There were pro-lifers on the hashtag of course, yelling out the same shit and boy oh boy do I wish I screenshotted the best/worst.  There were people going “use birth control!” right above or below someone Tweet about how their BC failed.  There were calls to come to Jesus or God contrasting with condemnations of burning in hell. The usual deluge of fetal snuff pictures, ‘whores’ left and right, and the Pro-Choice Butts* were out in force.

Usual stuff.  But what got me all writey/ranty was the number of people who seemed…entitled?…to someone else’s choice.  Here’s a Tumblr post to illustrate my point:

Say WHAT?

Say WHAT?

You read that right, cats and kittens. Some Nonny has the sads because some stranger may have aborted their future wife.

Again, I wish I had screenshots, but the number of people saying crap like “did you tell your children about the sibling they’ll never play with” or “my best friend had an abortion and now my kid doesn’t have a best friend”  or “that’s one child I couldn’t adopt” or “I’ll mourn your baby FOR you”  was mind boggling.  My flabber was gasted.

And then I got pissed.  Because for all the claims that people who have abortions are selfishly prioritizing their lives over the ‘baby’ inside them, these oxygen thieves have the nerve to stake a claim on the reproduction of complete strangers. What the entire fuck is that about?

It shows, once again, that this isn’t about the pregnant person at all.  They really do care more about the ‘baabbbee’ than anything else. Nothing else matters, not the situation, finances, relationship status, or fucking health of the walking uterus.  Nope, everything will work out perfectly once you decide to keep that baby, by gum.  As you know, pregnancy is super easy to endure for everyone, especially when you didn’t want to be pregnant in the first place. And just think, you’re providing some rando with a potential friend or even a spouse! Isn’t that amazing! Praise Jesus! Diapers for everyone!

And they still want to claim that WE’RE the selfish ones.  Get that shit out of my face.

I needed an excuse to use this gif again.

I needed an excuse to use this gif again.

(EDIT: realized I didn’t address that aside)*”Pro-Choice Butts” are my name for those who have to have conditions for their support of the right to an abortion, usually starting their sentences with “I’m pro-choice, but”.  I don’t think they’re actually pro-choice, and are more like judgmental assholes.

Confession: I don’t watch TV.  Or Netflix.  My media input is pretty much YouTube and music videos and video games.

But I’m aware enough to know when shit is going down on the TV.  And that’s when I run to Twitter.  It is so much more enjoyable to me to check our livetweets of other people watching shows, like watching Let’s Play and stuffs.  I howled when Nicki called out Miley, and I’ve been keeping up with the Republican debates.

It’s been a clown car of fuckery, but we all knew that.  But oh boy oh boy did this quote hit me in the fucking fucks:

12046823_948018265258217_7203880659124516450_n

Wow.

Just. Wow.

What drugs were you on when you watched that video?  Did someone switch the video out for A Serbian Film? What the entire fuck?

Polifact has been busy as fuck with each of these debates, calling out the outright lies frothing out of the mouths of these clowns, and they tackled this one and called it Mostly False.  Okay, fine (EDIT: Mostly False isn’t actually okay with me).  I can take my time ripping this ignorant fuckstick to shreds.

Cathy, can I call you Cathy?  Too bad, I’m calling you Cathy, first I have a song for you:

Seriously, Oh My God, why the fuck you lyin’?  Are you even aware of how abortions are even DONE?  Probably not, because for your types, it’s just easier to repeat bullshit lies and arguments from ‘EW’ and people will just nod their heads and agree with you. Anyone watching the videos, the unedited, unspun videos, would call you for your crap.

Which scares the fuck out of me.  With the House actually pass their bullshit defund Planned Parenthood bill, it’s obvious that this bullshit lying tactic is actually working.  I don’t escort at a PP, so I don’t hear the worst of the bullshit, but it’s there.

“Planned Parenthood sells baby parts!!!”

And my eyes rolls until I get a headache.  I hate this.  I hate this so much.  I know it’s gonna get veto’d so hard, and it might be the cause for yet another Republican temper tantrum i.e. government shutdown.  Because they hate a health clinic.

A health clinic that doesn’t take federal money for the abortions it does.

I know at this point I’m supposed to mention that only 3% of what PP does is abortion, but frankly, I’m utterly fuckless.  I don’t care if Planned Parenthood did 50%, 75%, 100% abortions.  I don’t care if they provided doulas, massage therapists, soft music, a fluffy robe, general anesthesia and gave patients a puppy afterwards.  Abortions aren’t a terrible awful thing.  It’s a medical procedure. It’s gross, but so’s watching open heart surgery.  It can be uncomfortable, even painful (I’m remembering the “let’s get past the cervix” part of my old IUD insertion and having that for a 5-15 minute procedure makes me want to scream. Knock me the fuck out, please), but so’s dental surgery.

That’s it.  That’s all.  Strip the emotional guilt trippy “it’s a baaaabeee” bullshit, and all you got is a basic, safe, medical procedure.  The vast majority of people who have it will move on with their lives without regrets, and we’ve got studies to prove that.  Defunding Planned Parenthood won’t end abortions.  Making abortions illegal will not end abortions.

Making abortions sound like some horror movie bullshit won’t end them either.  And you should know better, Cathy.

You wanna end PP? Offer to be its CEO.

“Planned Parenthood sells baby – SLAM!”

I’m going to be late for my doctor’s appointment messing around with this nonsense, but this was too good to pass up, y’all.

It’s another one of those “Feminace Rips Apart Some BS Pro-Life Screed”, but this has a special twist – I’m “supporting” local talent.  Yes, cats and kittens, a friend shared a screed, and I read it and recognized the names as being two of THE WORST of our protesters.

It’s a how-to guide about responding to the myriad objections people give when these fuckers start harassing them, and since I’m not allowed to engage while in the vest and on the sidewalk, I’m not going to let this opportunity pass me by.  Oh no.

First, just read this shit.  It’s short, don’t worry. Don’t read while driving, or drinking anything or eating anything less you choke or spill or crash.  Got it?  Good.

Where do we even start?

You can see, pretty clearly (and I’ve heard, pretty clearly), that harassment IS the name of the game.  They have responses for “objections” like:

“Back off! Get lost! Leave me alone!”

“Quit harassing us, this is hard enough already!”

“I’m just here for birth control.”

“I’m not even pregnant.”

“I’ve already made my decision.”

“Leave us alone or I’m calling the police.”

…with everything BUT backing the fuck off and respecting the speaker’s right to be left alone. This is what they train others to do as well.  Keep talking, never shut up, respect, what respect?

There’s also a great deal of gaslighting (that is: creating doubt to the point that your victims cannot trust their own judgement) in some of these responses as well. Check this shit out:

“Back off! Get lost! Leave me alone!”

“Your anger is misdirected. You are angry that you are in a bad situation, but we can help you.”

“Adoption? You think I’m going to carry this baby for nine months and then just give it away!?”

“That’s okay; how can we help you KEEP your baby?”

“I’m just here for birth control.”

“Sometimes people tell us they’re here for something else when they’re really here for an abortion. You can be honest with me. God knows the truth anyway.”

Gaslighting is a pretty insidious tactic, commonly used by abusers to keep their victims always guessing and dependent on abuser’s guidance.  And the fine folks at Pro-Life Action Ministries openly advocate this tactic of treating patients as if they themselves have not the fuck clue what they want.  That they actually want what the protesters want.  Always.  Such respect, Wow.

Then there’s outright WTFery, stuff that when I’ve heard it, made me stop in my tracks for a moment:

“You don’t need to listen to them, they are just protesters.” (from an abortion escort or worker)

“I am not a ‘protester,’ I am a ‘protector,’ a ‘protector of women and their unborn children.’”

Sure thing, sweetheart.  You pass out lit, harass every person who walks by, and wave signs.  Nope, not the actions of a protester.  Not at all.

“It’s too late. I’ve already started the abortion.”

“There’s a good chance your baby is still alive and is healthy! Babies have survived (the abortion pill or the first part of a late-abortion). Let’s call a doctor who can help you right now.”

…nice advice from people who are not medically trained. And the ‘reversal’ they’re currently trying to hype hasn’t been tested enough to be considered a mainstream procedure. Note that the only state that tried to make mentioning it a requirement had its law put on hold, with opponents stating pretty much what I just fucking said. I dunno about you, but I wouldn’t trust a bunch of non-doctors recommending any sort of medical treatment with a fuckton of evidence.

“I could die if I have this baby.”

“If that’s really the reason you’re having an abortion, let’s get you to a pro-life doctor who cares about BOTH you and your baby. Besides, this abortion could hurt you; women have even died from abortions.”

We have had a women collapse in tears in the lobby after being badgered with this shit.  Her fetus was not viable.  A doctor already told her that.  This isn’t just WTFery, it’s cruelty.

“Will you just shut up?” (from a boyfriend outside smoking)

“Okay, I’ll stop talking if you take and read this information and pass it on to your girlfriend. Otherwise, I need to tell you the truth about abortion and how we can help you and your girlfriend and your baby.”

“I will cease harassing you if you do what I tell you to do.”  Yup, that’s not harassment at all.

And now, I’ve had people ask, repeatedly, when I share my stories from the sidewalk “Why don’t the patients call the cops/mace or throw water or even punch a protester? That’s what *I* would do.”  And the fact that I have to explain this answer rankles me…sometimes.  So, here goes.

Let’s say a patient does call the cops for harassment.  That means the patients has to come out of the doctor’s office to talk to said cop and point out who exactly did it.  Now, remember, when it comes to abortions, time is of the essence. The longer you wait, the more costly and complicated the procedure will be.  So, they might miss their appointment window and have to reschedule and frankly, it wouldn’t be worth it to me. Also, now they have/know my name and address if I press charges, because police report.

And what if someone offs and slaps the shit out of a protester?  Oh boy, they can martyr that shit right up.  They can call the cops, the assailant is compelled to come down, and in some cases, the poor hurt protester won’t press charges if the patient just “talks to them”.

See the problem?

And of course, others are proud to inform me that they would happily shut these guys down with the application of either harsh words or increased volume or both.  Trust me, wanna-be warriors, you’d only be wasting your precious vocal chords.  If large angry male companions and loud angry female companions and upset, crying, screaming patients of all sorts don’t faze these assholes, you don’t stand a chance.  Not one.  See this article?  They are trained to be relentless.  Each harsh word is like getting nailed up right next to Jesus, for the unrighteous hating on you is supposed to be a sign of being a good child of God and doing something right, or something.

What CAN you do?  Volunteer.  Escort (it’s really not very difficult. I do not have Job’s patience, but I manage it at least once a week).  Donate money to abortion funds.  Bother your Congresscritters for better harassment laws that don’t put the entire onus on the harassed to make a complaint.

It’s not very sexy, but a lot more effective.

Also, #shutupann

Shrunken Tits = CENSORSHIP!!!

Posted: February 16, 2015 in feminism, geek
Tags: ,

So, the newest installment of Mortal Kombat, that old standby for hilariously over the top finishing moves, is getting another design change.  And boy oh boy has it got the gamerbros in a tiz.  Are they leaving out a beloved character (well, actually yes.  Sorry, Jade fans)? Removing the “Fatalities” and replacing them with handshakes?

Nope.

They’re giving their female character more realistic body proportions. Oh the horror.  Oh the shock.

“I can still make Kitana slice and dice her opponents into mincemeat, but not with smaller tits and a believable waistline! Oh noes!”

The comments are headbangingly hilarious, they won’t buy this game, the feminists have won this one, and of course, bringing up targeted and celebrated feminist critic Anita Sarkessian like she had anything to do with this:

“Damn you, evil avatar of everything that is wrong with gaming, the BeHooped One, who calls herself Anita. She and her horde of screetching SJWs have razed our precious games, sucking the sheer delight out of them. Oh woe is us! Woe, I say!”

That is my own exaggeration, but it’s not that far from the truth.  Once you start comparing her to Rush Limbaugh, I can’t even take your shit seriously.  Whine about the “double standard” of body images while blithely ignoring that it’s all a male power fantasy? Go get someone else to change your pissy diaper, because I don’t have time for that shit.

What really gives me the risk of a concussion from headdesking is the claims of censorship.  You can see it in the comments, over and over again, claims of censorship of this highly popular game that is going to be widely released in April.

Censorship.

I’d pull up the definition of censorship, but if you can read these words, you can look it up yourself.  A company deciding on their own to listen to certain criticisms and take them seriously enough to make a change that is purely cosmetic?  Was there a campaign I missed?  A threatened boycott?  An actual boycott, planned by feminists to make NetherRealms miserable?  Did the government step in?

I don’t think so, but to hear these bros whine, you’d think NR was given marching orders straight from Feminazi Central on threat of total annihilation or something. I hate to break it to the dudes, but no. And saying anything that sounds like that is an insult to the business sense of gaming companies.  I know, I know, having to share your toys with the likes of me and other gamers who want to play while actively being not straight, cis, male or even white makes you all feel like you’re losing something, but you’re going to have to deal. And companies are realizing this and changing on their own.  And no matter how many tantrums you throw, or words you twist until they have no meaning at all, we’re only going forward.

And don’t worry, MKX is going to sell like hotcakes no matter what the pissbabies say, so I say good on NetherRealm.  Keep up the bloodspatter.

…published on a Sunday, because I’m sick, y’all.

First off, let’s go to the sidewalk with a round up of the past two weeks of clinic escorting. I didn’t get out because of sick this Saturday, so I shared the tweets of the ever awesome @LouClinicEscort , who gets a larger crowd anyways.

Next up, something crawled up my back and it’s name was “complaints about political correctness“.  This had me so going that I was tweeting in bed about this shit.

Enjoy!

Abortion 101

Posted: February 5, 2015 in feminism, Repro Justice
Tags:

So, I survived my first solo talk.  It wasn’t too bad.

Did you miss it?  Well, here you go!

My thoughts afterwards are thus:

I got a lot of thanks from folks, which is nice.

What’s up with the gross pictures?  That’s what pro-lifers love to use, it’s one of their favorite tactics when it comes to telling others how icky abortion is. Being perfectly willing to acknowledge that yes, abortion isn’t pretty, yes, depending how far along you are, the contents have features that will pull at some heartstrings (unless you’re just plain USED to looking at guts and gore, then you’re probably waaay smarter than I am), and yes, it’s gross as hell, means I take one of their bullets out of the gun.

It’s surgery. It’s icky.  It’s also has less complications than dental surgery. It also is a legal procedure and safer than giving birth.  It also is the choice of the pregnant person, made with the advice of their doctor. It also can improve the quality of life for families and single folk alike.

So, yeah, what now, fuckers?

This may or may not be a regular thing, but people seem to really like it when I combine my escorting tweets into an easy to read format.

We don’t get the crowds as other clinics, but our regulars are persistent, annoying, the worst, and occasionally, hilarious.

So, here’s two Saturdays combined. Enjoy!

 

You know what I’m getting super sick of.

Other women.

Get back here, let me finish.

Other women, who in the face of hearing women like yours truly talk about something that affects our lives, like street harassment, online harassment, job and wage inequality, when some asshole said something sexist, etc, will jump in ass-first to inform us that they’re just fine.

“Why don’t you just ignore it?”
“What’s wrong with you, can’t you just deal?”
“Why are you being so hysterical?”
“It’s just life/a complement!”
“This is why people HATE feminists!”

And the most infuriating:

“I’ve been assaulted/harassed/raped and I handled it just fine. Why can’t you?”

They pretty much boil down to “Why aren’t you like me?” and “Quit making a fuss already.” And seriously, fuck all of that.

Firstly, if you’re a survivor, congrats. Honestly.  That shit can be life changing, and you’re doing the best you can.  You go, Glen Coco.

BUT, you don’t get to hop into another survivor’s space to tell them that they’re the ones in the wrong for their reaction, if it’s anxiety or railing against the society that allow this treatment of women.  That makes you an asshole of the first, second, and last water. People get to react the way that works for them, okay?

But hey, you super special Wonder Woman who possesses the exact correct way to handle trauma that doesn’t require changing our society, I don’t understand your need to dismiss other’s experiences.  Especially if a dude is already up in the mix doing the same fucking thing.  Are you looking for a cookie or something?  A “Congrats, You’re Better Than All The Ladies” ribbon? A pat on the head?

Because let me tell you something; harassment IS a big deal.  You might not be aware of this, but a simple Google search will show you the myriad of articles and Tweets and organizations all dedicated to exposing the problem and/or finding way to stop it. I would put down some links here, but it’s not my fucking job to do your homework.

Cats and kittens, I’m gonna tell you a little story about harassment.  Maybe we can get through it without the ass-first inclusion of apologists.  Let see!

When I was a younger hottie, Dance Dance Revolution was a Big Fucking Deal.  Machines were in a lot of arcades, people were jumping up and down in their own homes, there were competitions everydamnwhere.  It was awesome.  I had more than a couple of friend who Danced Danced their way into losing excess weight.  It combined the two things I then loved to do the most: Play video games and dance.

Now I wasn’t big on waiting in line or anything, so I found a machine in an arcade in Underground Atlanta, which is like a shopping mall, but underground (surprise!).  Usually someone was just getting off the machine or there would someone waiting when I was done.  It was nice, I didn’t feel like I had to impress fellow players. And I tried a few things, like turning the step-step-steps into something like dance moves, it was great for my anxiety.

Usually.  There were guys who were obviously not waiting in line for who a woman on a game like that was far too interesting.  Trying to take the break in the song “Dive”, to run around the back of the machine sometimes ended with me nearly careening into guys who was standing WAY TOO CLOSE to even watch the screen. Or the guys who try to hit on me while I was playing, because I certainly have the attention span to try to play a game I paid for and politely tell a guy “no thank you”.

And then there were the moments after I was done playing and wanted to leave.

“Hey baby, that looked good.”

“Hey girl, where you going?”

“You dance real good”

You gotta man?(shameless blog post plug!!)

Then there were the followers who insisted that I didn’t hear them properly when I booked it out of there at top speed.  And if it wasn’t for the fact that I was super worried about being followed all the way back to the train or worse, I probably would have happily informed these walking boners that I WASN’T PERFORMING A FUCKING MATING DANCE.

I wasn’t doing it for attention, I wasn’t trying to be a tease, I wore jeans and t-shirt and occasional a tank top because shit gets sweaty after a round, and while my badonkadonk was pretty slamming back then, I sure as shit didn’t need the verification of a complete fucking stranger. I spent about a summer doing that…and then stopped. It was too much – didn’t help my anxiety at all.

So now what?  Was I being too sensitive?  Maybe the guy telling me I danced real well was just trying to pay me friendly “not informing me of the state of his dick” complement.  Maybe I was being super rude, by leaving as quickly as possible when my coins ran out and not acknowledging their praise?  Or maybe I’m just being a delicate flower, unable to deal with life.

Let me inform you of something, you with the  “Congrats, You’re Better Than All The Ladies” ribbon and the cookie, you aren’t saying shit I haven’t said to myself.  A lot of victims/survivors blame themselves in the exact same way you are chiding us. So not only are you busting in on a conversation that you weren’t invited to, but you’re not even saying anything new. So really, what use are you here anyway other than to stroke your own #notallwomen ego?

What’s worse, you’re giving cover to the jerks in the world, to the oversensitive flowers of manhood who get all in their feelings when a woman speaks or otherwise indicates disinterest. Today I honest to goodness saw a woman type:

” This is why men are becoming afraid to date and marry women because this hysteria has gotten completely out of hand.”

I would have provided a screenshot, but looks like that asshole got blocked, and rightfully so, because that is some bullshit.  This is some MRA, “women run things with their vagina and boo on them for denying us that”, rank ass bullshit.

So, in conclusion, fuck the men they protect who already jump ass-first to tell us how wrong or hysterical we’re being, but double plus super fuck these women for trying to deny other women our experiences and our attempts to change the way society treats women. If you can deal with street harassment, great. No one’s stopping you. If you survived an assault or a rape and are ‘okay’, depending on your definition of ‘okay’, then great. No one is trying to take that away from you.   I’m not gonna jump into your shit and tell you you’re doing it wrong.

It is too much to fucking ask that you don’t do the same to us?

 

P.S. This entire conversation works wonderfully in other situations with other minorities as well.

(Trying it again, because I hit the Publish button WAY TOO SOON)

Okay, so I love parodies, and I love writing parodies.  My brain has been busy with dealing with the recent fuckery in the atheoskeptical circles with regards to sexism and accusations of rape and wagon circling that is almost Vatican-like.  I have read posts and comments and a couple of folks have wondered about an appropriate version of Tim Minchin’s The Pope Song:

Fret not, fellow SJWs and feminists and other people who care more about the safety of their fellows over the protection of the reputations of more famous speakers, I’ve got you covered:

(Note: this is an edited version of what I’ve posted privately)

(more…)

While escorting (been sick for two weeks, so no new fuckery to share, sorries!), two things never fail to break my shriveled black heart:

  1. A patient bursting into tears due to the harassment
  2. A patient asking me if there’s anything I can do to make the harassment stop

Number one makes me rage, makes me see red, makes me want to shove those brochures down the lying, pathetic. sanctimonious, bullying maws of our merry band of morons.  Number two makes me feel so helpless that I want to cry.  I wish I could do something, say something that would spare our patients from the deluge of bullshit and lies incapable of taking “no”, “leave me alone”, or “fuck off” for an answer.   

And you know what the fucked up part of it all is?  If I was walking downtown and one of those friendly vest wearing hawkers for Save The Children or Amnesty International came up to me and I said, “No Thank You”, they go away. I don’t have to hear them out first, I don’t have to give them a second of my time, I don’t even have to be POLITE about (though I usually am), and they go away.  If they didn’t, I could find a cop and say, “This person is harassing me”, and the cop would do something.  Talk to the person, if there’s enough complaints, even arrest this person.  Downtown, I have the right to not be harassed, no matter how good of a cause they think they are representing to not be harassed.

So, why is it any different when I’m walking into a women’s clinic?  Isn’t me saying “I’m not interested, leave me alone” enough of a hint that I don’t want to be followed and or pestered?  

Hat tip to Jezebel, San Francisco seems to be taking the first step in the very correct direction to stop the harassment of clinic patients and escorts:

Supervisor David Campos announced a joint-effort with San Francisco’s police department along with Planned Parenthood and the City Attorney’s Office, working on legislation that would act as an anti-harassment ordinance. The legislation seeks to prevent the more aggressive harassment that protesters launch at abortion clinics, namely following patients or clinic employees around. It would give police the authority to temporarily move protesters away from a clinic, allowing them to return.

This is exactly what we need, for every clinic in every city in this country.  An anti-harassment law that is aimed to keep patients safe and unbothered by the more pushy and obnoxious elements of the pro-life side. Those who show up to just pray are still allowed (even though personally, I think that’s a form of spiritual bullying), those who show up and just hold up a sign are still allowed, those who even get the occasional, rare patient that will stop and hear them out are still allowed.  

What isn’t okay is reaching into cars, shoving papers at someone, following them to the door (or property line), beckoning them from windows, pestering someone while they pay for parking, and all the other bullshit I see every Saturday and that you can have a lookie by following the #notcounseling hashtag on Twitter.  

Their right to ‘sidewalk counsel’* ends at the right of the patients to say “NO”. 

 

 

 

*And don’t even get me started on what bullshit “sidewalk counseling” is.