Trans Women in the Loo

(I’d say trans people, but let’s face it, most of the people behind these bathroom bills give much more of a fuck about trans women because ZOMG penis then for trans men. But the risks of assault and arrest for everyone is shitty.)

Thanks to encouragement by some groups for cis men to walk into the ladies room and show off their best helicopter dick, here is a short list of things conservative and TERFs think trans women want to do in the loo:

• Whip out their dicks
• Molest ‘real’ women and girls
• Get man cooties all over “women’s” spaces.

 

Here’s what trans women actually want to be able to do in the loo:

• What everyone else is doing.

 

And in case you’re unclear, that’s

• Pee
• Poop
• Wash hands
• Check hair
• Check makeup
• Check clothes
• Change a baby
• Accompany a little kid who needs to pee/poop
• Sit on a toilet seat and cry

 

And hey, because trans women are people too, let’s go for the not so savory things people do in the bathrooms:

• Snort coke
• Smoke weed
• Bone a stranger you just met at the club/bar
• Get into a hair pulling fight with some so-and-so taking up too much space at the mirror
• Drunkenly make new friends they’ll promptly forget
• Puke

 

…And that’s all.  That’s it.  Not so scary, huh?

 

 

Expectation in the Atheism Movement

(I’m going to be talking about atheism and maybe Dawkins and perhaps some SJW stuff.  Here’s your warning: Read my comment policy and yes, it applies to you.

Come at me with anything trying to defend Dawkin’s fuck ups, and your comment won’t even make it through moderation.  Come at me with anything accusing SJWs or whatever of trying to take over atheism or forcibly turn everyone into feminists or whatever conspiracy theory you pulled out of your ass, and your comment won’t make it out of moderation. Try to tell me how you don’t see a ‘movement’ or a reason for a movement, and you see where this is going.

Who knows, I might let it through just to mock you…and block you.  Depends on my mood.

Your arguments are boring, have been heard before, and I don’t care to entertain them here.  Take your Frozen Peaches elsewhere.)

Ahem.

The irony of Dawkin’s smug ass face on featured image of this article is overwhelming as fuck.  And people have been sharing it so much on Facebook that it makes me ill.

Now let me let some of you in on what is apparently a secret in the atheism movement: A lot of us managed to figure out this whole ‘no gods’ thing and/or the evolution thing without touching a single one of this man’s books or hearing him talk. We owe him nothing.

I would bet you good money that a lot of those people are poor, not college educated, racial minorities, queer and/or women. Again, we owe the fucker NOTHING, so in my particular case, I feel no qualms about calling him out when he done fucked up.

(and before anyone mentions it, I hope he recovers from his recent stroke.  He’s still a fucker, doubly so for trying to blame it on the stress by ‘fellow’ left leaning feminist who he deliberately stirred up recently.  So fuck him.)

You know, in light of the re-invite by NECSS, I think the folks in organized atheism really ought to be trying to get involved with actual inclusivity instead of pushing away some of us away by constantly licking the taint of their “Horsemen” because money and/or media exposure. No matter how shit their opinions are or have become about things that also matter, you know, like feminism and racism.

And the exclusion of most marginalized people has been so obvious that it’s breathtaking. Why should conferences have to be told to provide childcare like it’s some kind of gift instead of just a fucking given? Why do people saying stuff like “It sure would be nice to not have all of our gatherings in a bar late at night somewhere where transit doesn’t run or run well” such a radical thing to ask for? Why are big name conventions completely out of the realm for anyone below a certain income? Why do these conventions keep inviting accused rapists and known Islamophobes and anti-feminists? Don’t they know how unwelcoming that really is?

(and at this point, someone may mention that there are people in those categories that I listed above who are perfectly okay with how things are. Good for them. I’m talking about what needs to be done to make organized atheism more welcoming to others like them. So you don’t have to mention it.)

That’s why I support smaller, more social justice oriented secular conferences. Ones that allow talk about social justice issues, ones who have accommodations like gender neutral bathrooms and childcare and quiet rooms – as a given. Ones who take direct responsibility when there’s a fuck up. Ones run by people who try and succeed in having as much of a diverse panel as they can. Ones that give a fuck about actually making atheism inclusive, rather than some special club that you have to adjust yourself to fit in, or have read the right books, or what the fuck ever.

Ones that the big boys probably don’t even know exist.

And on one hand, that’s fucking sad. They should.  It’s where the young folks are, you know, the future our of movement?

On the other hand, it’s the sort of atheism that we need so badly. An atheism that goes beyond “I don’t believe in gods”. One that goes past the dictionary definition and into “Now what do I do about it?”.

That’s the atheism I’m interested in. The one that tries to make the world a better place without god. If that’s not yours, fine (okay, not fine, but I’m not going to waste time arguing with you), but get the fuck out of my way.

 

RTMFP

Just a little piece of advice for people who roll up to my comments trying to tell me what I should or should not be focusing on.

See, I’m a little cranky and sore this extended weekend.  I spent one night having a sleep study.  Do you know what a sleep study is?

This is a sleep study

Then you lay down on the worlds most uncomfortable mattress not made of actual rocks for a night while someone watches you.  Sometime in the night, you get a CPAP machine placed on your face so you breathe into that.

Needless to say, I woke up early, sore and grumpy.  Oh, and with goo everywhere including in my hair. I get out into -4F weather, go home and there’s bullshit to deal with at home.  I spent most of the weekend so sore I couldn’t stand it, so tired I spend all of Saturday napping, and so pissy that I called my cat a bastard who I wanted to turn into a muff – for asking for food.

Not in the best mood.  Which means I’m in the perfect mood to write this post.

So, yeah.  To the point.  You see that acronym in the title?  You may not be familiar with it, or you might be familiar with another of its type: RTFM.  For both, I’ll translate:

Read

The

Mother

Fucking

Post

See, when I get comments like this:

…I get amused.  And a little annoyed.  Okay, a lot annoyed.  Maybe even pissed.  Is there a term for laughing while angry?

Get this peeps, this is MY blog.  I write about anything I fucking want.  I write about any topic I want.  I didn’t have to give details of my weekend and a picture of myself up top to start this shit, but I did.  And none of motherfuckers can stop me.

I have friends who suggest that I charge for the privilege of giving me a topic to address, and even that grates on me as an incentive.  I don’t want to write what someone else wants me to write; even for pay (unless you’re my editor).  Fuck that shit.

So, if you’re thinking “hey, let me tell you what topic you should be focused on”, watch this clip from a show I’ve never actually watched before:

 

To put it in terms you might understand.  “You come into my house, you read the topics as I FUCKING WRITE THEM?”

Understand?

The Disability Parking Police

You know these people. They leave notes on cars like this one or this one. They approach and confront frauds using those placards to just get better parking.  They’re doing it to help actual disabled people get the parking spot they deserve, if it wasn’t for these frauds.

Small problem: NO ONE ASKED THEM TO FUCKING TAKE ON THIS ROLE

There was no alien descending upon them to give them this mission.  There was probably no Council of Actually Disabled people gracing them with a secret badge. I’m betting good money that they probably don’t even know a person who’s disabled, never mind one who would ask them to police their parking spots.

See, as I pointed out in my previous post about disabilities, there are way too many people who are just ignorant as fuck about what disabilities are, so when they see someone with a placard leaving their car under their own power (no wheelchair, walker, cane), obviously they are a fraud.  And frauds need to be called out.  No calling the police or the manager of the store to report them or anything useful, just write a nasty little note and leave it on their car to discover.  Because writing nasty notes has always worked to make a fraud go “oh dear, I’ve been found out.  Time to return this placard.”

Like welfare and SSI, the rate of fakers taking advantage of disabled parking is low.  Low low.  Very low.  Look it the fuck up if you don’t believe me. So the likelihood of the Parking Spot Police actually catching a fraud is next to fucking impossible.  All they’re doing is spoiling a person’s day who is probably having it hard enough.  All they’re doing is trying to make themselves feel better, puff themselves up at the expense of someone who has a disability they can’t see.

All they’re doing is showing off their ignorance in the guise of trying to help “real disabled people”.

While never knowing what is going on with the so-called fraud.

People have these strange expectations of the disabled, that we much perform our disability for them to prove it.  They have to see us struggle, they have to see that walker, that wheelchair, that child who can’t hold their head up and drools a little.  They need to see it so they can feel sorry for us, feel better than us.  “But the grace of God go I” and all that shit.  So when they see someone who doesn’t “look disabled”, it angers them.  That person looks fine.  That person looks like a “normal” person. Fraud! Faker! Time to write a note and wait until they come out and demand proof (like who the fuck are you?). How can you feel sorry and superior to this person if you can’t see their brokeness?

Are you their doctor? Were you the person who signed off on allowing them that placard? No? Then, if you must patrol the disabled parking spaces, learn about invisible disabilities like EDS and fibro and Crohn’s and RA and a host of others.  Learn the difference between good days and bad days. Stop demanding that people perform their disability for your viewing pleasure.  Learn some fucking empathy.

I’ll be taking your badge, pen, and scrap paper now.  You’re off the force.

No Love, Me – The Clueless Verison

Damn, haven’t had one of these in a while, but it’s Friday and I’ve been serious enough this week.

*ahem*

Dearest Stacy Dash,

SHUT. UP. You sound damn ignorant.

No love,

Me

What a Twist!

Soooo, Texas joined the line of states who, spurred on by the incredulous claims of those Center for Medical Progress edited bullshit-fest videos, were investigating Planned Parenthood.

Now every other state that has done this has found PP to be innocent of the crime of selling baby parts through the black market or for profit or for Satanic ritual or whatever. All of them.  It’s like requiring everyone on welfare to take drug tests: a complete waste of time and taxpayer resources.  Usually spurned on by the same people in the party that is supposed to be all about saving tax payers money.  Irony!

Sooo, Texas did this investigation, and as everyone with enough sense to smell bullshit when it’s on film predicted, found no wrongdoing by PP.

But wait!  It gets better!

In a twist that would make M. Night Shyamalan come in his pants, the grand jury indicted two of the CMP jackasses instead for tampering with governmental records.

My schaden is so freude right now, and I realized I don’t have a whole lot of celebratory or mockingly happy gifs, so I added these to my collection:

Enjoy!

 

Ugh, Put Some Clothes On!

Today in “Holy Shit, Hypocrisy”, kick ass Twitter user @CardsAgstHrsmt has been posting Tweets from dudebros which say one thing…and then some pictures of them that say something else:

Yup. Women who pose half-naked lose the respect of dudes who happily post pictures of themselves…half-naked?!?  Really?

Just look at them, shameless and proud of their near nakedness, posting pictures and showing off.  Would you want your kid to bring such hussies home all like, “I want to marry him!”.  Nay, I say, nay! Just look at how little respect these men have for themselves!

Wait, what was that? I shouldn’t hold these men to the same standards as they’re holding women?  Why, I wonder? It’s not like there’s a double standard at play OH WAIT YES THERE IS!

See, boys (may I call you boys? Tough, I’m calling you boys), what you’re doing is what most mature adults would call “Being a hypocritical jackwagon”.  I’m going to assume that you probably are very aware of it, and are exploiting the fact that it’s a-okay for you to pose half-naked and get no shit for it, while a woman doing the same thing would be buried under the weight of the shit she would receive: creepy comments, harassment, calls of “slut” and “whore”, etc.  And heaven forbid if a woman held the same standards as you do.

“It’s just the way it is!” some folks will argue. “It’s a double standard, but there’s nothing we can do about it! It’s natural/human nature/*insert other evo psych bullshit here*!”

The only ones holding up that double standard are you, while the rest of us are trying to get past that sort of nonsense.  How many of these assholes (or those who nod right along in agreement) might have Tumblrs full of half naked women to wank to? Are any of them fans of upskirt/downshirt pics? Then it takes some damn nerve to judge anyone who volunteers to show off their bodies with the same pride these guys show off their pecs, abs, and chest?

My flabber is gasted.  Or it would be if I wasn’t oh so painfully aware of sexism. Do better boys.

Or at least cover up.  I can see your nipples.*

 

*Obvious Disclaimer is Obvious: Yes, I know the answer isn’t for everyone to actually put clothes on, but for everyone to be free enough to wear whatever amount of clothing they want, snap photos, and post them on any social media site they have access to.  Duh. Now you don’t have to argue for/against it in the comments.  Cheers!

I’m Tired.

…but I’m gonna try to make it through this post without passing out or having too many typos, because I needed something up here that was actually based on a true story and totally wasn’t me not checking my facts before coughing out a rant post.

Nope.  Not me.

Anyway, today in “White People”, Maine’s governor is a racist shitbag. He’s the sort of racist shitbag who tries to hide their racism under the blanket of “concern”.  As usual, like a puppy or a toddler trying to hide under said blanket, their ass is usually showing.

And they’re not nearly as cute as a toddler or a puppy.

So, this is the money quote:

“The traffickers — these aren’t people who take drugs. These are guys by the name D-Money, Smoothie, Shifty,” he said. “These type of guys that come from Connecticut and New York. They come up here, they sell their heroin, then they go back home.”

He continued: “Incidentally, half the time they impregnate a young, white girl before they leave. Which is the real sad thing, because then we have another issue that we have to deal with down the road.”

Wow, there’s so much to unpack, but since we all know (hopefully) how shitty this is, and I’ve got a headache, bad sleep, and a load of laundry to fold, let’s just make fun of the fucking thing, kay?

First, there’s this bit:

“The traffickers — these aren’t people who take drugs. These are guys by the name D-Money, Smoothie, Shifty,”

Whoa there, partner, I’m gonna have  to throw a flag on this play. “Foul, white person attempt to pull ‘urban’ terms out of ass”.  Penalty, five yards or a free throw or a free kick or something.  Look, I don’t do sports, okay?

D-Money.  Okay, makes vague sense.  Like he might have seen one of those 90s urban gangsta movies…back in the 90s.

“Smoothie”?  Say what? Is he mistaking a trafficker for what he had for breakfast?

“Shifty” Oh yeah, you know ol’ Shifty from down the block, right? Everyone gets their stuff from ol’ Shifty.

Now, seriously, dude. This is sounding like YOU took heroin, watched Snow White, and coughed up the worst version you could think of.  What is this, D-Money and the Seven Drug Traffickers? You got Smoothie, there’s Shifty, who’s next? Drugee, Layzie, Krayzie, Bizzy, Easy-E, and their homeboy/source, Dopey?

 

You know he’s hiding some kilos in those baggy ass clothes.

Pro-tip: Just leave the examples to the professionals, okay? You’d sound like ridiculous that way.

Next part!

“These type of guys that come from Connecticut and New York. They come up here, they sell their heroin, then they go back home.”

Now I’ll admit I’m talking out of my ass here, because last time I checked, heroin is fucking everywhere. At least he had the brain to mention one state where it could well likely ‘come from’, good ol’ dogwhistle New York.  But come on, dude.  I’ve been to Maine.  Met some lovely people. Ate a bunch of lobster.  Rode on a boat. Sure, the only thing darker than me was the beer I was drinking, but lovely people.

And even I know the two things Maine is known for are A) Delicious lobster and B) WEED.  If you’re gonna try to sniff out drugs in your state, sir, the bong smoke is coming from inside the house.  How about you work on that first, hmm?

But oh and lo! the piece of resistance, or whatever. It’s supposed to be French, and I said I was tired, folks.  Chronic nightmares.  Chronic. Nightmares. Splitting headache. Feeling like death.

He continued: “Incidentally, half the time they impregnate a young, white girl before they leave. Which is the real sad thing, because then we have another issue that we have to deal with down the road.”

Now, if he wasn’t talking about race, as I’m sure someone’s right wing relative or that one ‘friend’ you just can’t let go will insist up to this point, why bother mentioning race here.

Also, seriously?  I know I’ve said that already, but damnit, it’s the name of the blog.  Not only are these oddly named drug traffickers bring heroin to the fine state of Maine, but they’re leaving behind knocked up young white women! Gasp! Le horror!

So pretty much, it’s Trump’s “Them damn Mexicans are drug dealers and rapists” rant narrowed down and aimed at another minority.  Great job, man. Will you be running for president next cycle? Because you’re already leaps and bounds ready for the Republican xenophobia ticket.

Okay, meds and bed and shit.  The laundry can wait another hour or two, right?

Have a good weekend.  Don’t get sick. Also, lobster.  Delicious, delicious lobster.

Y’all, it was fresh off the boat.  Like Low Country Boils of my childhood memories, except with lobster.

Mmmmm…

150 Armed Assholes

Hey, y’all.  I had a fever this weekend that got up to 102F. Fun! Now for the point of this post:

I don’t have words to describe how I’m feeling about this current fuckery up on Oregon. Not for the hypocrisy of the media treating these assholes not as the terrorists they are, not for the assholes on social media twisting the very definition of “terrorist” to not include this so-called militia of piss pants regressives who just don’t want to pay taxes, but want to use federal land that’s marked so they don’t use it all up raising their damned cattle. Not for the hypocrisy of these piss pants whiners defending two poaching arsonists who COULD HAVE FUCKING KILLED SOMEONE with their attempt to hide their poaching attempt. And certainly not for the hypocrisy of these assholes to show pictures of the uprisings in Ferguson and Baltimore, like white people have never overturned a car or raided a store ever.  I guess pumpkins and sports teams matter more than black lives.

When they’re not using pictures from Venezuela and calling it Baltimore. 

This gent, Julian Long, took all the words, made them beautiful, and then gratefully shared them with the world.

We keep being shown that violent, outrageous protests lead to decidedly delicate treatment from the authorities. We keep being shown that armed might is and must be respected – that secret wars and personal vendettas and organized forces with weapons and agendas get the benefit of being treated like humans while people with placards and megaphones are taken down like dogs. And we keep being told that this is how the system works. We keep being told to trust the system. Follow the system. Be aligned to the system.
So what comes next? What happens when this cloud finally bursts?
Explain that to me.
Please.

And I’m glad, because that means I don’t have to repeat anything.

Feminace Helps!

So apparently it’s a thing to arrest or make life shit for people who film cops doing (or failing to do, or outright fucking up) their jobs.

I thought we were all on board with the whole “Filming cops on duty is legal” thing?  I thought this has been a thing for, like, forever? Did anyone inform the cops? Did anyone inform the NYPD?

Here, let me help.

We should get signs, and put them on every locker, on every door in every bathroom stall, above every urinal in cop station, and pasted on the dashboard of every cop car.  And that sign should say:

I’m just trying to help spread the word.