Archive for the ‘race’ Category

Once upon a time, I was an Angry Black Chick.

I know, some of you are saying “You’re an ABC right the fuck now”, but hold your horses, I’m telling this story.

I did a segment on a friend’s podcast where I affected a ‘ghetto accent’ and ranted about whatever was on my mind.  It was fun back then.

I look back on it now and realized I was doing a weird version of Chill Black Girl, performing for my white friends.  I’ve since dropped that, gained more friends, lost a few and am now at times Angry, at times Disappointed, at times Disgusted, and at time Mocking.

I tire of the stereotype of the Angry Black Woman, constantly militant and on edge, ready to yell “racist” at the slightest hint of wrongdoing.  For starters, it’s an off shoot of that other pernicious stereotype, the Strong Black Woman, constantly wearing the problems on the world on her back without complaint.

Fuck, if you had to carry that much shit, wouldn’t you be just a little pissed?

Also, it tells people that we have only have a few emotions, angry being the most prominent one.  It dehumanizes us, turns us into caricatures that can be dismissed.

And now I’m gonna talk about Nicki Minaj.  Nice swerve, yeah?

I’m so-so about her music.  “Anaconda” makes me wanna dance (if you haven’t seen someone twerk with a cane, you’ve not lived), and her verses on “Monster” and “My Chick Bad” make me feel like the eldricth creature I secretly am (shhhhh, don’t tell my partner. His sanity is too delicious). “Looking Ass Niggas” is amazing and the video is too.  I’m meh with her other songs.

I appreciate her weird style, her not-so-weird style, her insistence to young girls to finish school and don’t depend on no man, her insistence on doing shit her own way.  Love her or hate her, you gotta respect that from an artist.

I also didn’t watch MTV’s VMAs last night.  That requires cable, which we don’t have and watching TV, which I don’t do. Don’t worry, I’m not one of those snobs, I just can’t deal with the medium in a way that I still can’t explain, so our lovely smart TV is used by my partner when he wants to watch Netflix and me when I want to run the Pandora app or play YouTube bird videos for the cats in the office.

But, like most TV moments I want to stay informed on, I watched the hell out of my Twitter feed, and oh boy oh boy did  it light up when Miss Minaj called out human joke Miley Cyrus upon receiving her award.  Don’t get me wrong, Miley’s done good stuff with homeless teens and all that stuff, but her bullshit on Twitter is straight up White Feminism (TM).

And Nicki was awesome for calling her out on live TV. That captured video is just magnificent.

But of course, before the show even ended, keyboards were going with the thinkpieces.  About how Nicki savaged Miley, about how Nicki was “throwing shade” (wrong terminology, if you must use it, that was a straight up call out). Once again, for defending herself, Nicki gets thrown into the same box we all get thrown into when we act even a little “out of line”: The Angry Black Woman.

For defending herself, let me say that again.

When is this shit going to stop? I know that answer.  As long as that term is used to silence us, to make us the bad guy, to make us worth not listening to (like we’re children having tantrums “not until you straighten up that attitude”), that box will always be there.

No matter what message we’re trying to convey, people, usually white people and sometimes black men, will fear our anger so much that it’s not worth listening to the message.  And that’s bullshit.

So much bullshit.


Posted: July 22, 2015 in fuckery, race
Tags: , , , ,

Today in “shit I can’t believe I have to say”:


Attitude will get you in trouble socially.  Attitude will get you fired.  Attitude will get you detention. Attitude will make you lose friends and gain enemies.

But it is not a crime. For too damned long, it’s been treated like a crime, though.

Recent case in point, the murder of Sandra Bland.  Now there’s video (that may or may not have been edited).  I’m not going to link to the video here, if you haven’t seen it yet, you can make use of the search engine of your choice.  Personally I tire of seeing Black death at police hands broadcast over and over.

According to the video, she was asked to put out her cigarette.  Not a lawful order, she didn’t have to obey. She asked repeatedly what she was being arrested for, and received no answer.  She stated that she couldn’t wait to sue, which is not a crime.  She outright stated that she had epilepsy, and the cop didn’t give a shit (I could write about how dangerous it is to be Black and disabled and having to deal with cops in this society, but that will have to wait for another day).

He didn’t care.  He didn’t get the respect he thought he deserved, and she paid the  price.

Yes, she coped an attitude.  Still not a crime.  But as we see over and over and over again, cops love to treat it like it is.  They act as if someone disrespecting their authority (insert Cartman impression here) is a crime to be punished from a beating up to death.  You know what other organizations treat disrespect as a lethal offense?


We have cops acting like stereotypical gang bangers, walking around openly armed and expecting the people to cower in fear of them and never say a bad word about or to them.  And that’s some bullshit.

What’s worse is that people actually play along with this shit.  We have people claiming that is Ms. Bland had just quietly complied with the cops unlawful and unreasonable requests, she would be alive today.  That coping an attitude with a cops is grounds for a beatdown, to be treated like a criminal when no crime had be committed.  Bow you head, say ‘yes sir/ma’am” and “No sir/ma’am”, don’t make trouble, don’t stand up for yourself.  It’ll be over sooner if you just behave.

And to that I say, Oh Hell Naw.

People get all up in their feelings when we talk shit about cops?  “Being a cops is so hard”, they say. “It’s the most dangerous job out there”, they say.  First of all, it’s not – ask an oil rigger who’s more likely to bite it on duty. Second of all, of course it’s a hard fucking job (so is being a brain surgeon or an air traffic controller).   That doesn’t give anybody license to act like damn fools with huge egos. The point is, they’re not special and we should stop treating them as such when one of them fucks up.

It’s time for the cops to get a goddamn reality check.  You have been given your authority by the People, and they are the ones you need to damn well respect.  I don’t care how many shit talking law enforcement agents you see on TV, here in the real world, giving you a “disrespectful look” ain’t a fucking crime.  It is your job, your duty, to be more responsible than the average citizen, because you have the authority to kill a motherfucker (and get away with it).  Do I need to quote Uncle Ben here?  “With Great Power Also Comes Great Responsibility”?

That mean, yes, if a clerk at a retail shop can’t punch a mean and nasty customer in the face, you can’t either.  Yes, even if they ran and made you run and catch them and you’re pissed off.  Yes, even if they called your momma everything but a child of god.  Yes, even if they make a pig and/or doughnut crack at you.  That means each and every time you strike a perp with hand or baton, you need to be held accountable (frankly, I think if you have to hit a motherfucker that ain’t tried to hit you first, that should be an instant investigation).  That means each and every bullet you fire needs to be held accountable.  That means every time you’re seen acting a fool, you get disciplined. That means remembering that yes, YOU CAN BE RECORDED ON DUTY (like a lot of other people with jobs have to put up with), so you better act right each and every time you go on duty.  We don’t want perfection, we want accountability.  We want to trust you again, and we can’t if we’re scared that the cop coming out of his car is going to be Officer Friendly or Deputy “Got Something to Prove”.

You want to improve the way we see cops?  Make them more accountable.  Toss out the heavy handed motherfuckers, the blatant racists, the homo/transphobes, the ones with a rap sheet full of complaints.  They are supposed to be serving the people, ALL OF THEM, and they damn well can’t if they’re bigots.  Take the wrongful death settlements out of their pension fund, make them feel the burn of each and every wrongdoer.  Stop punishing whistleblowers who are trying to do the right thing by exposing bullshit. Train your people on how to deal with all members of society with respect, including the disabled. END THE WAR ON DRUGS and the fucked up incentives to punish addicts just to fill the town’s “too fucked up to raise taxes” coffers.

I could go on forever, but I think it’s a start.


How was your 4th, Americans?  Nice?  Good.

I was at CONvergence. It was fun, but also very, very exhausting for me with the whole fibro plus GAD thing.  But I did remember my self-care, so I got through it.

Especially in a very eye catching outfit.

All while dressed in a very eye catching outfit.

…told y’all I loved me some Dragon Age: Inquisition.

Anyway, that happened and then the week of mental and physical recovery happened and now I’m here.  Still tired in the brain, but holy shit stuff happened and I can’t let it all pass without some commentary, so I’m dragging the Linky Roundup tag out of storage just for you.

** First of all: The ever awesome Iris Vander Pluym has awarded Seriously?!? a Very Inspiring Blogger Award, and I am very pleased as punch.  Thank you, Iris!  If you haven’t given Perry Street Place a gander, you simply must. And if you haven’t also given any of the other blogs on the list a gander, see previous sentence.

** I apparently missed an amazing Twitter clapback, or should I call this a clapBLACK.  There’s this hashtag that got some notice, #whitegirlsdoitbetter.  It in the vein of those “Post to make a black girl mad” BS nonsense that has white women try super hard with their attempt to copy our dance moves, gratuitous booty shots and picture of adorable interracial children.  Personally, the first two make me giggle (I’m not into body shaming, but if you’re trying to prove that your ass is better than your average black girl, HAVE SOME ASS. Otherwise, stick with what you know you’ve got and do you, okay?), and the last makes me roll my eyes.  Congrats, you have bedded a black man and have born his children.  I’m supposed to be ‘mad’ why?

So, this hashtag. I have no idea when it appeared on Black Twitter’s radar, but it did and the reactions were priceless. Blavity has the highlights.  Lesson, don’t come for us if we didn’t send for you.

** Speaking of people on Twitter who I think are amazing and should be followed by everyone, actress/comedian/general hoopy frood who knows where her towel is Pia Glenn delighted her YouTube subscribers by bringing back her trifling cousin Yvonne to explain why Black Twitter is pissed by people who pull from them without compensation.

“What’s going on with Black Twitter? The rent, bitch!”

Seriously, watch it.

** Bringing the mood down, another day, another reminder of how Black Lives Don’t Matter.  Add “exercising your own damn horses” to the list of shit we can’t do without getting some shit and then death from cops  Rest in Power, Jonathan Sanders.

** Bringing the mood up a bit, Obama’s ‘screw you’ to the Hobby Lobby decision is glorious. Fuck your ‘closely-held religious beliefs”.

** Homophobic and just plain foolish county clerks are reacting to gay marriage being a thing everywhere in this country by refusing to do their jobs.  Again, fuck your “closely-held religious beliefs”.

** In “shit I can’t believe I have to say to people news”: Ladies, a man in a kilt is not an invitation. Keep your fucking hands to yourselves, for fuck’s sake.

…and to round things off, Rest Well, Satoru Iwata-san, president of Nintendo. The gamer community will miss you terribly.

Please understand.

(This was a Facebook post I did a few days ago, edited for your reading pleasure)

This moment of education is brought to you by a moment’s ire while trying to relax and save Thedas.
Look, ‪#‎SouthernLivesMatter‬ and ‪#‎BlueLivesMatter‬ and ‪#‎WhiteLivesMatter‬, here’s some seats. You need to take all of them. Consider it a prescription from Dr. Feminace.

(other campaigns that focus on actual marginalized groups – #nativelivesmatter and the like, are of course exempt from this ‘script. *raises solidarity fist*)

You’re missing the point so hard that you can’t catch a fucking clue with clue bait, a clue hunting rifle and covered in clue pee in the middle of clue hunting season. So you have to copy an effective campaign and try to look clever when you might as fucking well just use ‪#‎notallwhites‬, ‪#‎whataboutus‬, and ‪#‎imacluelesspieceofshit‬

Why do we say “BlackLivesMatter”? Because, if you bothered looking at the news longer than the latest ZOMG new story of someone getting shot by the cops, it’s bloody obvious that black lives don’t matter. If someone shoots and/or kills a cop, people go out of their fucking way to celebrate their lives, to mourn, to pull up happy pictures of good time, and (most importantly) to find the fuck what shot/killed them. Hell, people do the same thing when POLICE DOGS are hurt in the line of duty.

On the other hand, black victims do not even get the courtesy. Let’s look at that video of the cop throwing down a 14 year old girl while she screams for her mother over and over again. That black male that was shot two seconds after the cops stopped was obvious a dangerous 20 years old man with a really real gun instead of a little boy with a fake one playing in the park. Did that dead black guy have a criminal record that had fuck all to do with his murder? Any pictures of them holding their hands up a way that we can call a gang sign? Say, maybe they had weed in their system. You know how wild and violent they get when they’ve had their pot. So scary.  Shoot/harm first, ask questions later, if not never.

White killers get more sympathetic press than black victims.
Killer cops fucking up at their job get more sympathetic press than black victims.
ANIMALS get more sympathetic press than black victims.

That is what we are talking about when we say “black lives matter”, because it’s fucking obvious that they don’t in our society. Do you fucking get it now? It’s not about hating cops or white people or Southerns or what the fuck ever.  It’s a cry for help, a cry for attention (the right sort, the sort that requires change in our society), and it’s only getting louder.

But you can’t deal with that reality, can you? The press caters to your narrow-minded view of us, leaving you capable of calling our rage “stupid” and whining when we put our protests in your face so you CAN’T ignore our presence. You wag your fingers at us, but remain silent when your token Black friends express their feelings, then turn around and repost/reTweet racism memes that you and your White friends can nod their heads about.  You easily ignore our pain – and that is what copying that slogan is. Hide your lack of empathy by whining like petulant children upset that a sibling got a piece of a cookie compared to their whole one. Even if that sibling has been locked in a basement and beaten most of their life. Even if that sibling made the fucking cookies in the first place.

Because who cares, you’re not getting the attention right now. You’re scared and trying to make shit about you so you feel better. You try to co-opt movements because you need to not think about anything but yourselves (or have a single original thought, for fuck’s sake), because empathy is oh so hard, and you might have to work on seeing us as humans like you, and we see you.

Oh, we see you.

…okay, back to sweet talking Solas. I feel better getting that out.

Calling oneself an ally is sometimes treated as the first and last step.

Like, “hi, I’m with you people!” one minute and then, “So you can’t call me on my shit ever, or I’ll get angry and not been an ally anymore!”

Being an ally shouldn’t be easy.  It shouldn’t be conditional.  Just because a transgendered person once called you a nasty time, it shouldn’t mean that suddenly you no longer support all transgendered rights and think they should all be shoved back into closets.  Doesn’t it?

For some folks, I’m not so sure.

Being an ally also doesn’t mean you are not longer racist, sexist, etc.  We all grew up in a bigoted society.  We all have bigoted views.  It take work to sort them out.  And it’s not comfortable work.

The moment I hear a calm like “I don’t possess a single racist view”, I know I’m looking at someone who is finding their allyship of non-Whites way too easy.  I can’t count on this person.  I might as well wait until they get their feelings hurt so they can have a little tantrum and stop calling themselves my ‘ally’ anymore.

Allyship ought to be hard.  You are sorting through your own muck.  Sometimes, you get your muck called out by others, and you have to sort it out.  Sometimes you have to deal with some one else’s muck.  It’s not easy.  It’s not comfortable.

it’s not meant to be.


Yeah, calling out Uncle Bucephalus for referring to anyone as “those people” might not make for a comfy 4th BBQ, but it needs to be done.  Calling your FB friends on believing the Confederate flag isn’t a racist piece of treason cloth made for wiping my ass on isn’t comfortable, but it needs to be done.  Telling your little sibling why calling someone a ‘faggot’ is not on isn’t comfortable, but it needs to be fucking done.

And guess what, allies? You signed on for this job when you declared yourself as such.  It can’t be up to those who have to personally deal with bigotry to change minds and hearts all the fucking time.  We need y’all to stand up, risk losing that friendship, risk fucking SOMETHING, or what good are you?

And you need a better outlet for your hurt fee-fees.  Seriously.  Did you get your ass burned when called out on talking nonsense?  Did you wander into a conversation that was not for you? Were you talking more than you needed to listen? That’s very uncomfortable.


Because we can’t tend to your feelings AND discuss shit or process our feelings or whatever.  Education isn’t our job, though some have gone above and beyond doing so.  We need spaces to be hurt and commiserate.  Hey, maybe you can start something up of your own.  You can call it the Those Darn Minorities Hurt My Feelings Club.  Just do it over there.

Because if you can’t put yourself aside for a moment, while talking about how you’re gonna help us, what good are you?

And fuck, I’m no expert. The number of times I’ve fucked up on my way to allying with my transgendered siblings are many.  Misgendering, being existentialist, assuming a binary, sharing memes that were actually transphobic, and I’ve been told, and at times, not nicely, when I’ve fucked up. It has hurt. My fee-fees were sore as shit.

But I had to learn, and you have to learn, that our feels aren’t nearly are sore as people living their lives.  My feelings were hurt, but I don’t run the risk of being beaten to death for having the “wrong” parts between my legs.   Becky Allyship might have gotten taunted off a Black woman’s Facebook page, but the likelihood of her getting beaten and killed by the cops is low low low compared to every Black person on that page as well.  They’re not the same, they’re never gonna be the same, and we all need to get a sense of proportion.

Because if we can’t, then what use are we?

Another tragedy has hit the Black community.  Race-based. A terrorist attack in a house of worship.

I’ll leave it for others to talk about the details, because I’m still full of so much anger and rage and misery just thinking about it.

What I want to rant about is something related.  Look, White people, I know one of the stereotypes you hold about Black women is that we’re happy to hear your problems and hold your hand as you try to process how shit it is to be us living in this world, but we can’t right now.  To be honest, we’ve never been able to, and it’s caused a great deal of social media strife.  White people accusing us of being angry, of lumping all White people together, of not being civil enough. White people waving their burnt asses around after they stumble into a conversation and try to make it about their ignorance – and get the roasting they very well fucking deserve.

#NotAllWhites this and #NotAllWhites that.

And we need that shit to stop.  Post-haste.  I know we’re scary when the Blacks are angry, but you’ll just have to fucking deal.  “Reminding” us of #notallwhites isn’t even for us, it’s for you. You want us to reassure you that you’re one of the “good ones”, and that’s some fucked up shit when we’re hurting, which makes us even angrier and more hurt. We don’t have mental space or spoons or whatever to tend to your owies.  If you were really as much of as ally as you claim to be, you’d understand that and gives us the space and support we need to process when more Black bodies are added to the groaning pile of proof that racism isn’t over.

What should you do?  I’ll happily give you some suggestions, for free.  You don’t even have to thank me.

This racist shitstain was reported as saying some “You rape our women” BS while he was murdering folks.  That claim was for you, White women.  That claim spoke for you, White men.  Don’t agree?  Time to make that known.  Post it on FB, start a fucking hashtag on Twitter or Tumblr, write a blog post (the two linked are great), share a blog post that already states your disagreement on your social media.

Aww, you don’t think you have to go that far?  Everyone knows that you don’t agree with RacistFuck McBowlCut?  Are you sure?  Maybe your non-White friends would at least appreciate that sort of reminder.  I know I’d appreciate it a lot more than yet another #notallwhite plea that insults my intelligence.

Not fair? Think about what Black people and Muslims have to do when one of ours fucks up.  Posts, speakers, hashtags, all disowning the fucker, and if we don’t do it fast enough, we’ll have folks wondering why we’re not speaking up?

It’s not like we’re asking for the moon and fucking stars here, White friends, supposed White allies.  Nothing more than what we have to do.

Now get to it.

So, I’ve been thinking since the Bloody Sunday anniversary thing happened. Others have covered the good parts and the fucked up parts that made my eyes roll, but there was something that really got to me.

Hey, white/cis/straight libs and progressives, I gotta chat with some of you. It’s all within your rights and shit to turn your nose up at voting because it “doesn’t matter” and it’s super cool that when the “revolution” comes, you’ll be there to root the downtrodden on, but you know what would really help a motherfucker out right the fuck now?

Voting. No, seriously. And not just for the big sexy every four year clusterfuck elections either. State senators. City council. School board. The little laws and shit that affect just the area you live in. That shit matters too.

Anyone who tells me that there isn’t a difference in our two party system needs a reality check. Yes, it would be super great if there were room for more than two. Yes, it would be super great if it didn’t cost millions upon billions of dollars to run for a major office. But you know what’s not going to change that? Doing nothing. There are people right now who have been turned away from what is their right for fucked up reasons that one party is dead set on spreading. People shed blood on that fucking bridge in Selma to have the right, to have that one tool we actually can use, and you’re just going to leave it in the box? And worse, try to sound like you’re more aware/awake than the rest of us “sheep” who stand in lines for hours to exercise that same right? You gonna call 90-100 something year old black people who weren’t even born with that right and were actually alive during that struggle “sheep”? FOH

And you know what else? Quit rubbing your virtual hands waiting for this revolution to come unless you plan on doing more than just watching. Are you aware what happens during a revolution? People die. Innocent people die. People who don’t look like you die. A lot of people who probably don’t look like you die. So excuse me if I’m not all about waiting for that shit to happen. And fuck white radicals who show up to majority POC rallies and protests trying to start shit, knowing good and goddamned well the only people who will suffer aren’t them. You want to help? Shut up and stand with us. You want to help? Keep your revolution boner in your fucking pants unless you plan on getting together with Brad and A.A. (whose real name is Amber, but that’s just too “mainstream”) and Comrade Brittany and starting your own.

Sick of this shit.

New Segment! “No Love, Me”

Posted: January 2, 2015 in fuckery, race

So, this year I’m starting a little segment here called “No Love, Me”, a set of little notes to things, people, situations, places, whatever that annoy me, but not enough to go into full blown rant mode.

And I’m starting big.  Real big.

Dear Oprah,

Welcome to the current movement.
We don’t have one or two leaders.
We have many.
We have none.
We learned the lessons, especially: “Our Leaders tend to get shot” and “We don’t need one spokesman”.

Can you try to promote what I hope is a very good movie with some of this shit in mind?

No Love,

Columbusing (with Reaction Gifs!)

Posted: September 25, 2014 in fuckery, race
Tags: , ,

So, my birthday is October 13th.  Occasionally my natal day falls on Columbus Day, and that is the case this year.  Thinking about that got me thinking about the trend of Columbusing, the trend of white people discovering something minorities have been doing for ages and treating it as a “new discovery”.  Twerking, bindi, etc, etc.

If you haven’t guessed, Columbusing  sucks.  It’s awful.  It’s insensitive.  So, when three articles come out in succession about big booties, gelled baby hairs (can we stop using ‘urban’ to mean black, please thank you?), and now cornrows, I have no words left for my reaction.

So, take it away, horde of gifs and memes!






Fenris Get Out

And furthermore…


Happy birthday to me, I guess.

Basic Shit Season starts early!

Posted: September 20, 2014 in fuckery, race
Tags: , ,

I posted this on my Facebook page, in light of this shit, and it got a good response, so here I shall share it with everyone:


Okay, since it seems the season is starting early, let’s get this over with.

Tis the season for spooky things and costumes and adults indulging in their inner child or outer adult, depending on the sort of parties you may attend. It is also the season that make some POC very, very nervous.
Let me be very, very clear. As I will probably be posting the various fuckups that are enviable, I will not be hosting the “is this cultural appropriation or appreciation” debate on this Wall, for that is basic shit, and I’ll be in the mood to discuss basic shit for free around Neveraury 32nd. Remember to mark your calendars.

Here’s a few freebies, just because I’m a loving, caring individual (WARNING: One woman’s opinion. I could be wrong):
No, dating/marrying/fucking someone of another race is not appropriation
No, learning the proper way to wear a kimono/sari/hijab/etc. and then doing so is not appropriation.
No, cosplay is not appropriation
No, exploring the cuisines of different cultures is not appropriation.
Neither is learning/speaking another language, songs, stories, and so on.

What IS appropriation, and what most folks get our collective shorts in a twist is the “let’s slap on a geisha/PocaHotAss/”terrorist”/”fly girl”/whatever the fuck caricature of a culture for shits, giggles, and funsies. What is appropriation is taking a style or a look, exploiting it, and wearing it like a costume. What is appropriation is black/brown/yellow/redface. THAT IS NEVER OKAY.

Now if there is anything more anyone wants to know, and feels it is necessary that I be the one telling you, I’ll be more than happy to offer Basic Ass Shit 101. Last year I offered this for $100, but times have changed and I could use the money, so I have expanded to several levels and raised the price:

  • For $200, you get the Basic Ass Shit package, a list of links, books, vids, podcasts, and anything else I can slap together for you in about an hour, put it in an email, and send it to you. You get to ask two questions that I will answer.
  • For $300, I will do the exact same thing, and I’ll even cut out the condescending attitude.
  • For $400, I’ll cut out the cursing. And throw in a picture of my cat. And you get one extra question.

Please direct all payments to my PayPal account [Redacted] And I look forward to a peaceful, yet infuriating Halloween season.
Oh, and no refunds.