Posts Tagged ‘40 Days of Bullshit’

It’s been a while since I escorted, thanks to two months of mental and financial fuckery (things have smoothed over with my public assistance, thanks much), so I returned last week, just in time for 40 Days of Life.  Again.

I don’t understand why.  It’s not even Lent.  Do they need attention that badly.

Don’t answer that.  I already know the answer. Yes.

Since WordPress doesn’t play nice with Storify, here’s the link.  I hope you enjoy!

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When I share my tales of being on the sidewalk, I tend to get one out of two reactions (sometimes both):

1. Thank you! 

2. No way I can do that.

My response is usually:

1. You’re welcome

2. Well, it’s not for everyone.

Well, I think starting now my response for Number 2 is going to start being.

2. Yeah, you probably can.

No. Really.  I’m serious.

Yes, it’s not easy at first.  Yes, it’s not a cake walk if you get a clinic with a lot of unpleasant antis. But it’s not impossible for most people who say “No way”. You know how I know?

Because the skills required to do this thing are exactly the same skills you use to live in our world.

Can you go without popping off at the slightest inconvenience? Can you exist around people who disagree with you…and not constantly argue with them? Do you know when to shut up? Are you able to focus on someone in need? Do you know when is a good time to engage and when not engaging is a waste of your time?

Yes you can.  You do it already.  At work, online, at home, among friends. Seriously.

These same skills are used to escort. You don’t engage with the antis, you try to make patients feel safe, you talk shit about the antis to your other escorts, you listen for ridiculous arguments and post them on Twitter to laugh it up with your other pro-choice buddies, then your shift ends, you take off your vest and you flip off the group on your way out. Ta-da, done, see you next week!

(Insert disclaimer here about there being exceptions and that’s okay, and you’re not who I’m talking to. )

But the rest of you? You can do it.  Why not try it?

We’ll save a vest for you.

Haven’t done one of these in a while, and since I’ll be getting all geared up for a trip to Chicago next week, here’s a list of stuff that has inspired, infuriated, and just plain pissed me off:

Unisex Makeup is now a THING! And it works pretty damned well on stubble!

Street Harassment turns deadly Again. But really, fellas, tell us more about why we should take time out our day to entertain your need to inform us about your boner.

Matthew Klickstein puts his foot in his racist mouth, gets his event at NYCC canceled Insert whining about “free speech violation” that usually happens when people decide they don’t want to associate with asshole anymore.

Olivia gives a well-deserving flipped bird to those who want us to “Get Off Your Phone”

“Students for Life” attempt to shut down Sex Week at University of New Mexico And they have to do this with the same nonsense as showing up to a SouperSalad and pitching a fit because they don’t have a Thanksgiving turkey dinner with all the trimmings on the menu.  You want a week dedicated to abstinence?  Start one yourself, you lazy fucks. Until then, we’ll be over here dealing with the reality of college students having the sex.

Here’s a double dose of We Hunted the Mammoth:

‘JudgyBitch” banned from Twitter. It’s like a person just can’t go around blatantly slandering people (or ‘sharing’ blatant slander without bothering to look into it)

Another woman is driven from her home thanks to more threats  Her crime? Sharing a meme that shows the GamerGaters for the children they are.  And then someone decided to prove the meme correct by throwing a disturbing tanty.  GGer’s want to clean up their image?  They can start by condemning shit like this, instead of clamoring to defend their ‘good’ name.

Now, right now, this weekend, there is a 4-day rally happening in Ferguson.  Catch the beat by beat on Twitter, and #staywoke

ANNNND lastly, apparently 40 Days of Bullshit (I’m sorry, “Life”) happens twice a year, and we got ourselves a fucking crowd showed up and showed out in front of my clinic.  Between myself and fellow escort Brianne, we collected enough witness for me to make my first Storify.  Enjoy our pain!

Alright, that’s it for now.  I might have a new blogpost before I head out for Chicago, maybe not.  You’ll see!

The usual merry band of morons were in the first two hours of an about 4 hour shift. Random McWhiteLady asked me what was the difference between a coat hanger (like the one of my Surly) and a currette. Then she told me, and every other escort there, about the woman in Italy who died after the second dose of the RU abortion pill. Not sure what that had to do with the price of beer in Canada, but okay.

She stopped mid lecture to run, with upside down umbrella and all, to a Muslim woman who walked out of the side entrance to give her pamphlet. Sigh. It was cold and rainy and windy as fuck out and I had my cane, expecting the weather to stiffen my joints. Insert insincere concerns about my health here.

Well, two hours go by, I train a medical student who came down from the clinic to help before the doctors came in, and all of a sudden, like 15 people showed up, wielding signs and changing the group from the usual Tom-fuckery to a clusterfuck of self-righteous posturing for the Lord.

There were children. Two in a double stroller (that they didn’t bother moving to give space to an elderly man leaving the dialysis clinic), some free range. A baby, well two, one was in the stroller, the other was carried around. Did I mention it was cold and windy and nasty outside? These children were freezing as they held signs and were marched around the block. Their parents and fellow prosters were just the worst. The first black protester I’ve seen (and dad to the stroller kids) stood next to the property line and delivered the most boring Bible study in the history of Bible studies. Big ass Bible in hand, monotone voice, asking questions at us, just ugh. I could have pulled a better sermon out of my ass. Creepy Grandpa picked up the little free range baby and practically shoved her into our faces, asking us if this was a child. One of my fellow escort and I had been distracting ourselves with just noise as Preacher Bore was talking, but the baby thing set her off.

“That child isn’t a prop!” she yelled, and CG kept talking, and the sharks starting getting closer, and we both yelled at him to mind the line.

To add a cherry to the shit sundae, the wife of Preacher Bore started in on us with the usual guilt trip BS, even calling back to the “not a prop” outburst. As they were FINALLY leave, she said they would pray for us (with TONS of stank all over that wish), and that may God have mercy on our souls. I asked for physical help to keep me from flipping her dumb ass off.

I managed to keep it until they were crossing the street a block away. And I waved. With one finger. One of the guys must have saw me because if the look he gave me out of his car as he passed could kill, I’d be a bloody smear on the pavement.

So yeah, stiff, in pain, tired, and pissy, I think naps were deserved all around.