Posts Tagged ‘abortion’

By now everyone’s heard of the rat bastard who held hostages and killed and injured people at a CO Planned Parenthood.  It’s…how do you even start to process that?

It happened last Friday, and I was reloading the local news page over and over, took a nap and went right back to it.  I needed to know when or if they would apprehend this fucker.  And of course they did, alive because white, even though he killed one of their own, but that’s a different rant.

The next day, I went to escort after a long break (I was sick, then Turkey Day, and oh, my father’s been contacting me after like over a decade of silence from me.  Shit’s been stressful as fuck, kay?).  One of the clinic staff checked in with each of us as we suited up, just telling us to be careful, to be aware, and thanking us for showing up even after the day before happened.

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Me last Saturday, failing at proper prep for the cold weather.

 

Now escorting has always been serious business to me, even as I joke and make fun of the merry band of fools.  Each patient is important to me, and getting them into the building with as little harassment as possible is my JOB.  Serious business, folks.

I always known that clinic violence was a risk, but Friday really made it hit home.  Let’s be real, we’re practically screaming “Shoot us first” in our bright yellow vests, standing outside.  To these people, this ignorant jackasses, we’re the handmaidens of Satan – yes even the guys – escorting poor innocent ‘mothers’ into Hell. To someone entitled* enough to think that taking matters into their own hands will do a damned thing, we’re sitting targets.

And on the real, that’s pants-shittingly terrifying. Having to swallow that shit and show up was emotionally draining.  I had so many excuses – allergies, frost on the car windows, now I’m tired from scraping all that damn frost off the windows, now the windows need defrosting because I still can’t see, do I really want to do this?  We’re in Minnesota, the protesters are more annoying than scary.  But it doesn’t have to be a regular, it only needs to be one person.  Can I really do this?

I can do this.

I will do this.

I NEED to do this.

Of course, the accusations of ‘mentally ill loner’ are being thrown about because white and that’s another rant.  Let’s get one thing straight – even if he has a diagnosis of a mental illness, doesn’t matter.  It’s the entitlement that is the issue.  Shit, I’m crazy.  My grasp on reality sometimes isn’t all there.  Some days I’m filled with so much self loathing that I stay in bed.  Other days, anxiety fills me with so much dread that I don’t leave the house for days. Also, I know which end of a gun to point when I want something destroyed, and I’m a slightly less than shitty shot.

But the thought of going up to another human and blowing a hole in them makes me sick.  I could never do it.  Many of us with mental illnesses couldn’t do it either.  Fuck, we’re most likely to BE victims of violence, so please keep that in mind as the same bullshit rhetoric we always hear when a white guy gets murdery is being trotted out.

Please keep the three victims of this shooting and all of the injured in mind.

Please keep the clinics that have suffered violence in mind.

Please keep the fact that the faction that keeps fueling this fire has the nerve to continue to call themselves “pro-life” in mind.

Please keep the security measures clinics and doctors have to go through just to do their jobs in mind.

This shit isn’t easy.  It weighs on my mind every Saturday.

 

*I’m calling it entitlement because, well it is.  It takes a nerve of steel to think that YOU, yes, YOU, you special snowflake you, will be the savior of babies for a day or a week or forever by destroying other people’s lives and/or livelihoods with your gun or your bomb or your vandalism or your wee little hatchet. That is some entitled bullshit right there, especially when your actions will have no negative effect on the fact that ABORTIONS HAVE AND WILL ALWAYS HAPPEN, YOU FUCKING FUCKS! You ain’t stopping shit.  You’re just giving the less violent pro-lifer fodder to secretly wank over while they publicly denounce your fucked up actions.  Fuckers.

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The issue of counter protesting at women’s clinics can be a dicey one.  Some places, like the Pink House in Mississippi, do it very fucking well, with clinic defenders at the front lines.  Others would rather that not happen, at least not during clinic hours.

I’m of the latter, I feel that having too many voices yelling would further upset and confuse patients, and it’s my job as an escort is to be very aware of the patients’ safety and comfort.  So far, among escorts, anyway, we’ve most decided to live and let live, do what works for your location, etc.

But…

BUT…

BUT…

There is a way to fuck it up.

  1. Be a white dudebro who apparently has never interacted at a clinic before.
  2. Be doing it less for the comfort and safety of the patients and more for attention.
  3. Make the goddamn escorts uncomfortable.
  4. Assault the fucking protesters.

So, Nik Stevenson (read down to the updates to see what the fucking problem is) and Nik Stevenson AKA “Judo Jesus” (yes, same guy), you’re not helping.  Go away.  Go FAR the fuck away from any clinic.

This isn’t for you.  Yes, being spat on by a protester IS assault – but if you had any understanding of how these fuckers operate, which the escorts could have happily told you if you weren’t such a fucking toolbox towards them, confrontation is WHAT THEY FUCKING WANT, especially a physical one.  They want someone to give them that sort of attention.  I don’t even want to think about the buzzing around on social media by pro-lifers about how one of their own was assaulted by one of those pro-aborts.  What you should have done, what you have the privilege of doing since you’re the not the one who either have an appointment to get to OR be an escort who is iffy about getting their name on a police report, is CALL THE POLICE.  REPORT THEIR ASSES.

Are you actually here to help patients? Obviously fucking not. So go away.  Stay away.

This is why I don’t want a bunch of angry counter-protesters showing up.  Y’all don’t know even how to act. You seem to think that just showing up and yelling at the protesters is going to do anything.

It will not. It only makes them feel more empowered. It might make you feel like you’ve done something really important, but let me assure you…YOU ARE NOT. You really want to help, show up, put on a vest, stand with us (or again, learn from groups who are already doing a fine job of C-P, like the aforementioned Pink House). Otherwise, this is more about you than the patients, and we don’t need you.

Look, if you wanna play in this game, learn the rules or stay the fuck home.

Mere Pleasure

I even made it bigger so you could get a good look.

We knew this.  We’ve always known this, and they’ve always denied it.

Sometimes you gotta argue them down to this point.

But it’s “nice” to have one of these assholes actually ADMIT that they’re anti-“sex for pleasure and not for making of the babies”.

It makes it easier to mock them, yes. But I worry.  I worry that even if every single anti-choice flapping lips admitted this, it wouldn’t matter to anyone on the fence.  Anyone who is pro-choice, but not willing to admit it (“I’m pro-life, but I wouldn’t stop anyone from having one themselves”, those people), won’t care to stop listening to these toolboxes.

But it’s nice to hear one of them admit just how pie in the sky their wants are.  People have been having sex for recreation since they figured out what sex was.  You can close down every Planned Parenthood and other reproductive health clinics, promote abstinence education at every school in the nation, make divorce illegal, make abortion a capital fucking crime, and ban every type of contraception except for Natural Family Planning, and people are gonna have sex for recreation.

Good luck stopping that.  You’re gonna fucking need it.

It’s been a while since I escorted, thanks to two months of mental and financial fuckery (things have smoothed over with my public assistance, thanks much), so I returned last week, just in time for 40 Days of Life.  Again.

I don’t understand why.  It’s not even Lent.  Do they need attention that badly.

Don’t answer that.  I already know the answer. Yes.

Since WordPress doesn’t play nice with Storify, here’s the link.  I hope you enjoy!

So, last night the hashtag #ShoutYourAbortion trended, thanks to one Lindy West, with people declaring that they’ve had an abortion and don’t feel the first lick of shame about it.  It was a challenge to the pro-lie of the miserable sad wretch who regrets their abortion and cries at hypothetical birthdays, either that or they never, never, never reveal such a shameful secret.

Because abortions are something to be ashamed of, right?

BLEH.

I have never had an abortion, though it’s the plan should the unfortunate happen, so I started Tweeting supportive stuffs, like the website for Exhale, an organization where people can call and talk about their experiences without judgement and a guilt trip. Because who needs that shit when you’re already working out how you feel about the abortion you’ve had, right?

Yes, I know, I’m acknowledging that not everyone skips out of the clinic afterwards (well, given how the procedure actually works, there’s probably very little skipping anyway). It can be an easy decision for some, it can come to be an easy decision for others, and for even more others it’s complicated.  Because this is how reality works.

As I said up top, it trended wildly.

There were pro-lifers on the hashtag of course, yelling out the same shit and boy oh boy do I wish I screenshotted the best/worst.  There were people going “use birth control!” right above or below someone Tweet about how their BC failed.  There were calls to come to Jesus or God contrasting with condemnations of burning in hell. The usual deluge of fetal snuff pictures, ‘whores’ left and right, and the Pro-Choice Butts* were out in force.

Usual stuff.  But what got me all writey/ranty was the number of people who seemed…entitled?…to someone else’s choice.  Here’s a Tumblr post to illustrate my point:

Say WHAT?

Say WHAT?

You read that right, cats and kittens. Some Nonny has the sads because some stranger may have aborted their future wife.

Again, I wish I had screenshots, but the number of people saying crap like “did you tell your children about the sibling they’ll never play with” or “my best friend had an abortion and now my kid doesn’t have a best friend”  or “that’s one child I couldn’t adopt” or “I’ll mourn your baby FOR you”  was mind boggling.  My flabber was gasted.

And then I got pissed.  Because for all the claims that people who have abortions are selfishly prioritizing their lives over the ‘baby’ inside them, these oxygen thieves have the nerve to stake a claim on the reproduction of complete strangers. What the entire fuck is that about?

It shows, once again, that this isn’t about the pregnant person at all.  They really do care more about the ‘baabbbee’ than anything else. Nothing else matters, not the situation, finances, relationship status, or fucking health of the walking uterus.  Nope, everything will work out perfectly once you decide to keep that baby, by gum.  As you know, pregnancy is super easy to endure for everyone, especially when you didn’t want to be pregnant in the first place. And just think, you’re providing some rando with a potential friend or even a spouse! Isn’t that amazing! Praise Jesus! Diapers for everyone!

And they still want to claim that WE’RE the selfish ones.  Get that shit out of my face.

I needed an excuse to use this gif again.

I needed an excuse to use this gif again.

(EDIT: realized I didn’t address that aside)*”Pro-Choice Butts” are my name for those who have to have conditions for their support of the right to an abortion, usually starting their sentences with “I’m pro-choice, but”.  I don’t think they’re actually pro-choice, and are more like judgmental assholes.

Confession: I don’t watch TV.  Or Netflix.  My media input is pretty much YouTube and music videos and video games.

But I’m aware enough to know when shit is going down on the TV.  And that’s when I run to Twitter.  It is so much more enjoyable to me to check our livetweets of other people watching shows, like watching Let’s Play and stuffs.  I howled when Nicki called out Miley, and I’ve been keeping up with the Republican debates.

It’s been a clown car of fuckery, but we all knew that.  But oh boy oh boy did this quote hit me in the fucking fucks:

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Wow.

Just. Wow.

What drugs were you on when you watched that video?  Did someone switch the video out for A Serbian Film? What the entire fuck?

Polifact has been busy as fuck with each of these debates, calling out the outright lies frothing out of the mouths of these clowns, and they tackled this one and called it Mostly False.  Okay, fine (EDIT: Mostly False isn’t actually okay with me).  I can take my time ripping this ignorant fuckstick to shreds.

Cathy, can I call you Cathy?  Too bad, I’m calling you Cathy, first I have a song for you:

Seriously, Oh My God, why the fuck you lyin’?  Are you even aware of how abortions are even DONE?  Probably not, because for your types, it’s just easier to repeat bullshit lies and arguments from ‘EW’ and people will just nod their heads and agree with you. Anyone watching the videos, the unedited, unspun videos, would call you for your crap.

Which scares the fuck out of me.  With the House actually pass their bullshit defund Planned Parenthood bill, it’s obvious that this bullshit lying tactic is actually working.  I don’t escort at a PP, so I don’t hear the worst of the bullshit, but it’s there.

“Planned Parenthood sells baby parts!!!”

And my eyes rolls until I get a headache.  I hate this.  I hate this so much.  I know it’s gonna get veto’d so hard, and it might be the cause for yet another Republican temper tantrum i.e. government shutdown.  Because they hate a health clinic.

A health clinic that doesn’t take federal money for the abortions it does.

I know at this point I’m supposed to mention that only 3% of what PP does is abortion, but frankly, I’m utterly fuckless.  I don’t care if Planned Parenthood did 50%, 75%, 100% abortions.  I don’t care if they provided doulas, massage therapists, soft music, a fluffy robe, general anesthesia and gave patients a puppy afterwards.  Abortions aren’t a terrible awful thing.  It’s a medical procedure. It’s gross, but so’s watching open heart surgery.  It can be uncomfortable, even painful (I’m remembering the “let’s get past the cervix” part of my old IUD insertion and having that for a 5-15 minute procedure makes me want to scream. Knock me the fuck out, please), but so’s dental surgery.

That’s it.  That’s all.  Strip the emotional guilt trippy “it’s a baaaabeee” bullshit, and all you got is a basic, safe, medical procedure.  The vast majority of people who have it will move on with their lives without regrets, and we’ve got studies to prove that.  Defunding Planned Parenthood won’t end abortions.  Making abortions illegal will not end abortions.

Making abortions sound like some horror movie bullshit won’t end them either.  And you should know better, Cathy.

You wanna end PP? Offer to be its CEO.

“Planned Parenthood sells baby – SLAM!”

I’m going to be late for my doctor’s appointment messing around with this nonsense, but this was too good to pass up, y’all.

It’s another one of those “Feminace Rips Apart Some BS Pro-Life Screed”, but this has a special twist – I’m “supporting” local talent.  Yes, cats and kittens, a friend shared a screed, and I read it and recognized the names as being two of THE WORST of our protesters.

It’s a how-to guide about responding to the myriad objections people give when these fuckers start harassing them, and since I’m not allowed to engage while in the vest and on the sidewalk, I’m not going to let this opportunity pass me by.  Oh no.

First, just read this shit.  It’s short, don’t worry. Don’t read while driving, or drinking anything or eating anything less you choke or spill or crash.  Got it?  Good.

Where do we even start?

You can see, pretty clearly (and I’ve heard, pretty clearly), that harassment IS the name of the game.  They have responses for “objections” like:

“Back off! Get lost! Leave me alone!”

“Quit harassing us, this is hard enough already!”

“I’m just here for birth control.”

“I’m not even pregnant.”

“I’ve already made my decision.”

“Leave us alone or I’m calling the police.”

…with everything BUT backing the fuck off and respecting the speaker’s right to be left alone. This is what they train others to do as well.  Keep talking, never shut up, respect, what respect?

There’s also a great deal of gaslighting (that is: creating doubt to the point that your victims cannot trust their own judgement) in some of these responses as well. Check this shit out:

“Back off! Get lost! Leave me alone!”

“Your anger is misdirected. You are angry that you are in a bad situation, but we can help you.”

“Adoption? You think I’m going to carry this baby for nine months and then just give it away!?”

“That’s okay; how can we help you KEEP your baby?”

“I’m just here for birth control.”

“Sometimes people tell us they’re here for something else when they’re really here for an abortion. You can be honest with me. God knows the truth anyway.”

Gaslighting is a pretty insidious tactic, commonly used by abusers to keep their victims always guessing and dependent on abuser’s guidance.  And the fine folks at Pro-Life Action Ministries openly advocate this tactic of treating patients as if they themselves have not the fuck clue what they want.  That they actually want what the protesters want.  Always.  Such respect, Wow.

Then there’s outright WTFery, stuff that when I’ve heard it, made me stop in my tracks for a moment:

“You don’t need to listen to them, they are just protesters.” (from an abortion escort or worker)

“I am not a ‘protester,’ I am a ‘protector,’ a ‘protector of women and their unborn children.’”

Sure thing, sweetheart.  You pass out lit, harass every person who walks by, and wave signs.  Nope, not the actions of a protester.  Not at all.

“It’s too late. I’ve already started the abortion.”

“There’s a good chance your baby is still alive and is healthy! Babies have survived (the abortion pill or the first part of a late-abortion). Let’s call a doctor who can help you right now.”

…nice advice from people who are not medically trained. And the ‘reversal’ they’re currently trying to hype hasn’t been tested enough to be considered a mainstream procedure. Note that the only state that tried to make mentioning it a requirement had its law put on hold, with opponents stating pretty much what I just fucking said. I dunno about you, but I wouldn’t trust a bunch of non-doctors recommending any sort of medical treatment with a fuckton of evidence.

“I could die if I have this baby.”

“If that’s really the reason you’re having an abortion, let’s get you to a pro-life doctor who cares about BOTH you and your baby. Besides, this abortion could hurt you; women have even died from abortions.”

We have had a women collapse in tears in the lobby after being badgered with this shit.  Her fetus was not viable.  A doctor already told her that.  This isn’t just WTFery, it’s cruelty.

“Will you just shut up?” (from a boyfriend outside smoking)

“Okay, I’ll stop talking if you take and read this information and pass it on to your girlfriend. Otherwise, I need to tell you the truth about abortion and how we can help you and your girlfriend and your baby.”

“I will cease harassing you if you do what I tell you to do.”  Yup, that’s not harassment at all.

And now, I’ve had people ask, repeatedly, when I share my stories from the sidewalk “Why don’t the patients call the cops/mace or throw water or even punch a protester? That’s what *I* would do.”  And the fact that I have to explain this answer rankles me…sometimes.  So, here goes.

Let’s say a patient does call the cops for harassment.  That means the patients has to come out of the doctor’s office to talk to said cop and point out who exactly did it.  Now, remember, when it comes to abortions, time is of the essence. The longer you wait, the more costly and complicated the procedure will be.  So, they might miss their appointment window and have to reschedule and frankly, it wouldn’t be worth it to me. Also, now they have/know my name and address if I press charges, because police report.

And what if someone offs and slaps the shit out of a protester?  Oh boy, they can martyr that shit right up.  They can call the cops, the assailant is compelled to come down, and in some cases, the poor hurt protester won’t press charges if the patient just “talks to them”.

See the problem?

And of course, others are proud to inform me that they would happily shut these guys down with the application of either harsh words or increased volume or both.  Trust me, wanna-be warriors, you’d only be wasting your precious vocal chords.  If large angry male companions and loud angry female companions and upset, crying, screaming patients of all sorts don’t faze these assholes, you don’t stand a chance.  Not one.  See this article?  They are trained to be relentless.  Each harsh word is like getting nailed up right next to Jesus, for the unrighteous hating on you is supposed to be a sign of being a good child of God and doing something right, or something.

What CAN you do?  Volunteer.  Escort (it’s really not very difficult. I do not have Job’s patience, but I manage it at least once a week).  Donate money to abortion funds.  Bother your Congresscritters for better harassment laws that don’t put the entire onus on the harassed to make a complaint.

It’s not very sexy, but a lot more effective.

Also, #shutupann