What a Twist!

Soooo, Texas joined the line of states who, spurred on by the incredulous claims of those Center for Medical Progress edited bullshit-fest videos, were investigating Planned Parenthood.

Now every other state that has done this has found PP to be innocent of the crime of selling baby parts through the black market or for profit or for Satanic ritual or whatever. All of them.  It’s like requiring everyone on welfare to take drug tests: a complete waste of time and taxpayer resources.  Usually spurned on by the same people in the party that is supposed to be all about saving tax payers money.  Irony!

Sooo, Texas did this investigation, and as everyone with enough sense to smell bullshit when it’s on film predicted, found no wrongdoing by PP.

But wait!  It gets better!

In a twist that would make M. Night Shyamalan come in his pants, the grand jury indicted two of the CMP jackasses instead for tampering with governmental records.

My schaden is so freude right now, and I realized I don’t have a whole lot of celebratory or mockingly happy gifs, so I added these to my collection:

Enjoy!

 

On the Front Lines

By now everyone’s heard of the rat bastard who held hostages and killed and injured people at a CO Planned Parenthood.  It’s…how do you even start to process that?

It happened last Friday, and I was reloading the local news page over and over, took a nap and went right back to it.  I needed to know when or if they would apprehend this fucker.  And of course they did, alive because white, even though he killed one of their own, but that’s a different rant.

The next day, I went to escort after a long break (I was sick, then Turkey Day, and oh, my father’s been contacting me after like over a decade of silence from me.  Shit’s been stressful as fuck, kay?).  One of the clinic staff checked in with each of us as we suited up, just telling us to be careful, to be aware, and thanking us for showing up even after the day before happened.

Me last Saturday, failing at proper prep for the cold weather.

 

Now escorting has always been serious business to me, even as I joke and make fun of the merry band of fools.  Each patient is important to me, and getting them into the building with as little harassment as possible is my JOB.  Serious business, folks.

I always known that clinic violence was a risk, but Friday really made it hit home.  Let’s be real, we’re practically screaming “Shoot us first” in our bright yellow vests, standing outside.  To these people, this ignorant jackasses, we’re the handmaidens of Satan – yes even the guys – escorting poor innocent ‘mothers’ into Hell. To someone entitled* enough to think that taking matters into their own hands will do a damned thing, we’re sitting targets.

And on the real, that’s pants-shittingly terrifying. Having to swallow that shit and show up was emotionally draining.  I had so many excuses – allergies, frost on the car windows, now I’m tired from scraping all that damn frost off the windows, now the windows need defrosting because I still can’t see, do I really want to do this?  We’re in Minnesota, the protesters are more annoying than scary.  But it doesn’t have to be a regular, it only needs to be one person.  Can I really do this?

I can do this.

I will do this.

I NEED to do this.

Of course, the accusations of ‘mentally ill loner’ are being thrown about because white and that’s another rant.  Let’s get one thing straight – even if he has a diagnosis of a mental illness, doesn’t matter.  It’s the entitlement that is the issue.  Shit, I’m crazy.  My grasp on reality sometimes isn’t all there.  Some days I’m filled with so much self loathing that I stay in bed.  Other days, anxiety fills me with so much dread that I don’t leave the house for days. Also, I know which end of a gun to point when I want something destroyed, and I’m a slightly less than shitty shot.

But the thought of going up to another human and blowing a hole in them makes me sick.  I could never do it.  Many of us with mental illnesses couldn’t do it either.  Fuck, we’re most likely to BE victims of violence, so please keep that in mind as the same bullshit rhetoric we always hear when a white guy gets murdery is being trotted out.

Please keep the three victims of this shooting and all of the injured in mind.

Please keep the clinics that have suffered violence in mind.

Please keep the fact that the faction that keeps fueling this fire has the nerve to continue to call themselves “pro-life” in mind.

Please keep the security measures clinics and doctors have to go through just to do their jobs in mind.

This shit isn’t easy.  It weighs on my mind every Saturday.

 

*I’m calling it entitlement because, well it is.  It takes a nerve of steel to think that YOU, yes, YOU, you special snowflake you, will be the savior of babies for a day or a week or forever by destroying other people’s lives and/or livelihoods with your gun or your bomb or your vandalism or your wee little hatchet. That is some entitled bullshit right there, especially when your actions will have no negative effect on the fact that ABORTIONS HAVE AND WILL ALWAYS HAPPEN, YOU FUCKING FUCKS! You ain’t stopping shit.  You’re just giving the less violent pro-lifer fodder to secretly wank over while they publicly denounce your fucked up actions.  Fuckers.

Dear Former Clinic Escort,

Blogmaster’s Note: This’ll be a long one, but worth it.  Also, if you come up with some some anti-choice argument BS, have your shit recent and accurate, or you WILL be shown the door.

Wow, when this piece of dreck popped up in a private FB group for escorts, it was universally panned.  I don’t tend to link to the sentient bullshit machine that is LifeSiteNews, but for this opportunity, I made an exception.  So I clicked and read this oh so special letter to us Clinic Escorts.

And the moment the page load, I’m assaulted by an autoplay pledge plea (I know I have Flashblock, so what the fuck?) of two twin douchebags who I’d never heard of, one of which introduces them as “I’m David Benham and this is my twin sister Jason.”

Mmm-mmm, that’s some tasty transphobic humor right there.

Anyway, they apparently lost some house-flipping show on HGTV because they opened their yaps and let the anti-gay, anti-choice out.  Insert commentary about how free speech is actually supposed to work here.

Well, I was in a mood after pausing that crap video, so let’s get to the actual letter, shall we?

Dear Clinic Escort,

Hi there!

Today I saw you, with your bright orange vest emblazoned with ESCORT on the front and back. You refused to make eye contact with me.

Actually our vests (provided by the awesome folks at The Clinic Vest project) are eye melting yellow, but okay.  And as for ‘eye contact’? We become masters at the Thousand Yard Stare to ignore you and your repetitive and WRONG nonsense.  We’re escorts, not counterprotesters. You’re not owed an audience just because you think you have something important to say.  Not from strangers, not from patients, and certainly not from escorts.  Deal.

I saw your gritty determination as you grabbed arms with that young woman and whispered in her ear, “Ignore them,” you said, “Don’t look at them, they are here to intimidate you, to scare you. I’ll keep you safe, don’t worry.” You walked quickly, head up, steel in your eyes, never letting up your grip on her arm. Her head was down, following your lead, mutely keeping up with your fast trot to the abortionist.

We walk with patients who are terrified and angry at the horde of people who can’t take “no” for an answer, who surround cars and try to shove their crap into the windows. Congrats, you have accurately described our job (though we do tend to not touch the patients unless asked where I am because we believe in strange concepts like “respecting a person’s space”). Pity that will probably be the last accurate thing you will say in this entire ‘letter’.

You ushered her in through the doors and soon emerged, alone, smiling at us triumphantly, a glimmer of malice in your eye, a smirk of arrogance and joy at having bested us – another woman you saved from the anti-choice fanatics. You rejoin the other escorts, laughing and joking, until the next car pulls up, and your face resumes the mask of the militant soldier, ready to do battle for women’s reproductive rights.

Malice.  Militant soldiers. “Another woman saved…”

Oh god.  Hold up, I gotta stop laughing for a minute.  Making up your own interpretation of shit is something anti-choicers are really good at, I’ve noticed.  “Pro-life fanfiction”, I’ve heard it called. That’s not malice, it’s pride at helping patients enter with some dignity. We’re not “militant soldiers”, we’re volunteers done with your shit. They weren’t ‘saved’ from you.  They arrived at their appointments on time with as little harassment as possible. You’re turning it into some weird competition where there is none. But hey, whatever it takes to keep up that martyr complex. It’s just what Jesus would have done.  Or something.

As I watched you I wondered, have you ever been inside the clinic?

Nope.  They never let us inside the clinic.  They just hand out the vests and send us to work.

Oh wait, that’s complete bullshit.  Of course we’ve been inside the clinic.  The inside of the clinic where I escort looks like every other doctor’s office I’ve been in.  Clean, professional.  Only more purple. No charnel house look here.

Have you ever been in the waiting room, filled with the silence of trepidation and fear? Have you listened to the stifled tears?

A some escorts have either had abortions, or have been a companion to someone who has.  We even had a transgendered man volunteer who had one. I know you’re going for this “we don’t know what we do” angle, but we do.  We really do.

And trepidation and fear (and yes, tears) are natural reactions to a surgical procedure.  I felt that before my extensive dental surgery.  I did before my first endoscopy. Some people even feel it before giving birth. It’s natural.  Doesn’t make what’s about to happen wrong.

Have you ever been in the counseling room? This place, where instead of asking questions and listening, the worker masks the truth, or outright lies about the third life in the room, the life growing inside the woman’s womb?

I’m not a counselor, and we fill out patient privacy forms , so my answer will have to be no.  As for the information given, I think you may be confusing that with a CPC. From what people who have had abortions and actual counselors and doulas have shared (and the documentaries I’ve watched, After Tiller and 12th and Delaware), counselors, you know, counsel.  It’s their job to listen.  It’s their job to give ALL of the options.  And if a patient decides to only have an ultrasound, or changes their mind, it’s okay.  No one’s keeping patients trapped until they decide they way ‘we’ want, as CPCs are reported to do. That’s what choice means. Do you get it?

Probably not.

Have you seen her sad and scared eyes?

Yes. Badgering a patient outside of the clinic will do that.

Have you asked her why she is there?

I’m not a counselor, and neither are you. I swear, we get antis, who can’t take ‘no’ and ‘leave me alone’ for an answer, asking this question to complete strangers like they’re owed that answer. This might seem really strange to you, so I’ll put it bold so you get it: It’s none of our business. Not yours, not mine.  That is between the patient, the counselor, and the doctor. And maybe, if the patient is a believer, their relationship with a god.  Not yours.

That said, I have actually had patients, after we get them inside and away from your shit, volunteer that information.  And while you might deem all of these reasons not good enough for you, they are so damned no concern of mine.

I don’t give half a crap why a patient is there. It’s none of my business.

Do you know if she is being pressured or forced into this abortion, if she is safe at home…all the questions she won’t be asked inside the clinic? Does she know about all of the help available to her if she keeps the baby? Does she know how many couples would love to adopt her baby?

Wow.

Just, wow.

You do know that 9th Commandment is YOUR law to follow right?  The one about “not bearing false witness”?  That’s so much bearing of false witness I’m surprised your back isn’t broken from the strain. Counselors ASK these questions.  They provide help if the patients change their mind.  I’ve seen the brochures with my own eyes. And even if they change their mind, that’s not a victory for YOU, it’s a victory for the concept of CHOICE.

And seriously, adoption isn’t the opposite of abortion. This may shock you, but some people aren’t interested in continuing a pregnancy they don’t want. Fucking deal.

Yes, I know, I’m using filthy words now. That’s what I do when I’m pissed at disingenuous liars. And it’s only gonna get worse.

My dear Clinic Escort, have you been there for the ultrasound, where you can see the fully formed baby kicking its arms and legs? Have you heard the worker tell her it is just a bunch of cells? A blob? A product of conception?

You’re asking me if I’ve seen ultrasounds before?  Why yes.  From parents happily expecting, and from people who have decided on abortion.  The majority of abortions are performed in the first trimester – too tiny to have those kicking arm and legs.  And even if we’re talking second trimester, why does that matter? If someone doesn’t want to continue a pregnancy, they get to not continue a pregnancy.

Have you been with her, holding her hand as she screams in pain, ignored by a doctor who doesn’t even know her name?Have you heard the suction machine, watch as the blood, tissue, and body parts flow from her body into a cold jar? Have you heard the sound of the currette scraping her uterus? Have you seen the body parts – an arm, a leg, a piece of a rib cage, poured into a baggie as though it were scraps of meat?

Christ, are you getting off on this nonsense? While anesthetic affects people differently, they still get it. And yes, thanks to brave people who record and report their own procedures, we get to see how the shit works, sans your overdramatic overdescriptions.

Also, are you sure you’re still talking to us “dear Clinic Escorts”? We don’t go into the procedure rooms during procedures. We don’t go into the counselling rooms during counseling. And if we’re curious, we can ASK.  We can research.  I did an entire talk as a layman to other laymen about basic abortion procedures.  So, yeah, keep on with the drama, you can’t fool me.

Have you sat with her in the recovery room as she stares off into space, desperate to get away from this place so she never has to think of it again?

We’re not doulas or patient advocates, so no. But, since I’ve been trained as an abortion doula, by people who have been doing it for a while, I’m more willing to trust their word on the reactions in the recovery room.  Sometimes, there’s tears.  Sometimes, there’s vomiting, because anesthesia.  Most time, it’s relief.

Don’t believe me? Look up some positive abortion stories.  I’m Not Sorry has been running since 2004.

Have you been with her through the depression and the anxiety that plague her after the abortion? The breakup of her relationship? Have you helped her through her drug addiction, her binge drinking? Have you been there when she is unable to bond with her children? When her marriage falls apart? Will you be there when she attempts suicide? Will you be at her funeral when she succeeds?

I…I can’t even with this bullshit, but damnit, I’m gonna try.

Firstly, as someone who struggles with depression and the like, go fuck yourself.  It’s people like you who KEEP people with these issues from speaking up, unless they’re willing to join your guilt parade.  Yes, some people emotionally react poorly to having an abortion.  Most (and you can look that shit up yourself) don’t.

Secondly, go fuck yourself, because if this theoretical woman did all of these things, your sanctimonious ass wouldn’t be at that funeral either.

Thirdly, there are support for people going through issues after an abortion that don’t involve the guilt trip.  Backline and Exhale.  Look them up, and go fuck yourself.

Fourthly, and most importantly, GO FUCK YOURSELF.

Dear Clinic Escort, look into my eyes.

*flips both birds*

They have seen things you could never imagine. Things that have made me scream in the middle of the night. Things that are never discussed in the intellectualized, feminist world of abortion rights.

Some escorts have had abortions. Some escorts have had abortions. Some escorts have had abortions. Some escorts have had abortions.

Because while you see a job well done when you usher her through those doors, her nightmare is just beginning.

Did I mention the going and fucking yourself?  Because you can go do that now.

But before you do, I asked a few fellow escorts to chime in on your bullshit.

Nick V:

WTF is this nonsense? I know our counsellors DO ask those questions. I know our clinic would never ‘encourage’ a women who was unsure to just go ahead and have an abortion. Heck we saved women from boyfriends that were trying to force them to have one. This is horseshit.

Rivka:

I don’t give a rats ass what decision she makes. I don’t have a personal investment if if she stops to talk with you. I don’t get personal satisfaction from people choosing to have an abortion. I am there to let people access health care. I have never grabbed a patient. I have never smirked walking out. I chat with patients. Hell, I sometimes say half my job is keeping the antis from getting punched. Why in the world would you think I *care* how many people have abortions? I don’t care. I just want them to have *access*. It’s not a game where you win or I win.

And yes, I’ve been in the waiting room. I see women who are tired, women who are reading a book, women who are chatting. I have had women tell us that they feel better, I’ve had plenty of women thank me for making the trip to get health care a little less scary for them.

And yes, I’ve gone with a friend when she needed support. For her it was a hard decision. It’s one she has very mixed feelings about, but she’s still sure she made the decision that was right for her. And I stood with her and let her work through that. I didn’t tell her what to do, and I would have supported her whatever she choose.

This isn’t a game where you get saves and I get abortions. My only interest is in those women being able to access healthcare without fear.

Pat C:

One lie that gets me is the, “Ask them to show you the ultrasound. They don’t want you to know the truth,” The clinic will not only show it to you if you ask, they will print a photo for you if you want.

AND

Since I transport many clients home after their procedure, this is not true. All of them say the staff are kind, compassionate and keep asking them if they are in pain. They will stop the procedure if needed to comfort the patient and reapply a local if necessary.

Huxley M:

One: some clinic clients are nervous. They’re typically nervous because they’re about to have a medical procedure, which is worth getting tense about. They’re also typically nervous about the protesters out front.

Two: some clients do have sad feelings, for a variety of reasons – the one I’ve encountered most (I’m also doing volunteer transport now, which means lots more talking than escorting does) is that they do want to talk, to have someone in their life know what’s up. “Hey, this is why I’ve seen stressed lately/seemed sick/etc.” And they don’t feel like they can, because they are afraid they will be treated by loved ones the way they are by the protesters. The overwhelming amount of negative emotion surrounding abortion is what they create – which is exactly what they intend.

Finally, just grabbing a client’s arm? I dunno about everybody, but we don’t even walk with clients without asking if they want us to. I have never initiated physical contact with a client, ever. Protesters make plenty of unsolicited and unwanted physical contact with clients, companions, and escorts, though. Guess they’re projecting?

Thanks guys, you rock!

Saturday Storify!

This may or may not be a regular thing, but people seem to really like it when I combine my escorting tweets into an easy to read format.

We don’t get the crowds as other clinics, but our regulars are persistent, annoying, the worst, and occasionally, hilarious.

So, here’s two Saturdays combined. Enjoy!

 

Linky Roundup!!

Haven’t done one of these in a while, and since I’ll be getting all geared up for a trip to Chicago next week, here’s a list of stuff that has inspired, infuriated, and just plain pissed me off:

Unisex Makeup is now a THING! And it works pretty damned well on stubble!

Street Harassment turns deadly Again. But really, fellas, tell us more about why we should take time out our day to entertain your need to inform us about your boner.

Matthew Klickstein puts his foot in his racist mouth, gets his event at NYCC canceled Insert whining about “free speech violation” that usually happens when people decide they don’t want to associate with asshole anymore.

Olivia gives a well-deserving flipped bird to those who want us to “Get Off Your Phone”

“Students for Life” attempt to shut down Sex Week at University of New Mexico And they have to do this with the same nonsense as showing up to a SouperSalad and pitching a fit because they don’t have a Thanksgiving turkey dinner with all the trimmings on the menu.  You want a week dedicated to abstinence?  Start one yourself, you lazy fucks. Until then, we’ll be over here dealing with the reality of college students having the sex.

Here’s a double dose of We Hunted the Mammoth:

‘JudgyBitch” banned from Twitter. It’s like a person just can’t go around blatantly slandering people (or ‘sharing’ blatant slander without bothering to look into it)

Another woman is driven from her home thanks to more threats  Her crime? Sharing a meme that shows the GamerGaters for the children they are.  And then someone decided to prove the meme correct by throwing a disturbing tanty.  GGer’s want to clean up their image?  They can start by condemning shit like this, instead of clamoring to defend their ‘good’ name.

Now, right now, this weekend, there is a 4-day rally happening in Ferguson.  Catch the beat by beat on Twitter, and #staywoke

ANNNND lastly, apparently 40 Days of Bullshit (I’m sorry, “Life”) happens twice a year, and we got ourselves a fucking crowd showed up and showed out in front of my clinic.  Between myself and fellow escort Brianne, we collected enough witness for me to make my first Storify.  Enjoy our pain!

Alright, that’s it for now.  I might have a new blogpost before I head out for Chicago, maybe not.  You’ll see!

A Good Start

While escorting (been sick for two weeks, so no new fuckery to share, sorries!), two things never fail to break my shriveled black heart:

1. A patient bursting into tears due to the harassment
2. A patient asking me if there’s anything I can do to make the harassment stop

Number one makes me rage, makes me see red, makes me want to shove those brochures down the lying, pathetic. sanctimonious, bullying maws of our merry band of morons.  Number two makes me feel so helpless that I want to cry.  I wish I could do something, say something that would spare our patients from the deluge of bullshit and lies incapable of taking “no”, “leave me alone”, or “fuck off” for an answer.   

And you know what the fucked up part of it all is?  If I was walking downtown and one of those friendly vest wearing hawkers for Save The Children or Amnesty International came up to me and I said, “No Thank You”, they go away. I don’t have to hear them out first, I don’t have to give them a second of my time, I don’t even have to be POLITE about (though I usually am), and they go away.  If they didn’t, I could find a cop and say, “This person is harassing me”, and the cop would do something.  Talk to the person, if there’s enough complaints, even arrest this person.  Downtown, I have the right to not be harassed, no matter how good of a cause they think they are representing to not be harassed.

So, why is it any different when I’m walking into a women’s clinic?  Isn’t me saying “I’m not interested, leave me alone” enough of a hint that I don’t want to be followed and or pestered?  

Hat tip to Jezebel, San Francisco seems to be taking the first step in the very correct direction to stop the harassment of clinic patients and escorts:

Supervisor David Campos announced a joint-effort with San Francisco’s police department along with Planned Parenthood and the City Attorney’s Office, working on legislation that would act as an anti-harassment ordinance. The legislation seeks to prevent the more aggressive harassment that protesters launch at abortion clinics, namely following patients or clinic employees around. It would give police the authority to temporarily move protesters away from a clinic, allowing them to return.

This is exactly what we need, for every clinic in every city in this country.  An anti-harassment law that is aimed to keep patients safe and unbothered by the more pushy and obnoxious elements of the pro-life side. Those who show up to just pray are still allowed (even though personally, I think that’s a form of spiritual bullying), those who show up and just hold up a sign are still allowed, those who even get the occasional, rare patient that will stop and hear them out are still allowed.  

What isn’t okay is reaching into cars, shoving papers at someone, following them to the door (or property line), beckoning them from windows, pestering someone while they pay for parking, and all the other bullshit I see every Saturday and that you can have a lookie by following the #notcounseling hashtag on Twitter.  

Their right to ‘sidewalk counsel’* ends at the right of the patients to say “NO”. 

 

 

 

*And don’t even get me started on what bullshit “sidewalk counseling” is.

 

 

 

 

 

Femi’s Feeling Pissy, Time to Rip Up Some Fuckshit

It’s been a rough day.  I won’t go into details, because let’s face it, this ain’t my Facebook (and I’m one of those weirdos who only friends people she’s actually met),  but it was a crappy day.

Okay, one detail.  Some jackhole at the bus stop today declared that my N7 t-shirt was obviously my boyfriends’.  My ladies’ cut N7 t-shirt (no link, as it was on sale when I got it, and now it’s gone).  Thankfully he got on a different bus, and I remembered that I’m too sick to go to jail to smacking him on both sides of his shorts with my cane. Really, we’re still on the “fake geek girl” kick?  Oh well.

So I’m kinda cranky, so I decided to dig up an article I shared on Facebook that I’d promised to address here.  It’s from the particularly fuckbrained branch of the pro-life movement, Secular Pro-life, “Refuting the Ridiculous Pro-Abortion Claim: The Pro-Life Movement is Anti-Sex”.

So, let’s not even talk about the place where this article is posted, LifeNews, with its usual brand of twisted nonsense. Oh wait, maybe we should, because this article is PERFECTLY rife with building up strawmen and then knocking them down.

First that title: Ohhh, “pro-abortion”, soooo scary!  I’m sure that’ll go over really well with the intended audience. Well, I am pro-abortion, so that doesn’t really scare me.  I’m pro safe, legal abortion in the same way I am pro safe, legal dental extractions, cancer surgeries, and transplants.

Let’s begin with the post (all bolds are mine, btw):

The pro-abortion claim that pro-lifers are anti-sex is nothing new. From Canadian abortion advocates’ recent attempt to make some kind of point by dressing up as penises and vaginas, to Amanda Marcotte’s bizarre assertion that pro-lifers’ motive in protesting outside abortion facilities is “to gawk and yell at women whose soon-to-be-terminated pregnancies constitute solid proof they’ve recently touched a penis” (I guess we’ll be protesting outside maternity wards next), nothing really surprises me anymore.

 

Wow, it take a special kind of assumption to drop that kind of load. It’s not that we think pro-lifers are “anti-sex”, it’s more like they’re “anti-sex that is happening without their permission and beyond their stated purpose”.  Premarital sex, gay sex, non-procreative sex, you name it, they hate it and fight against it. Now, most pro-lifers mask this as God’s plan, but this is “Secular” Pro-Life, so…yeah. Next time, try reading those links for comprehension.

Allow me to propose a simple logical argument.

Major premise: Pro-lifers constitute a little less than half the adult population of the United States.
Minor premise: The vast majority of American adults have sex from time to time.
Conclusion: Most American pro-lifers have sex. And I’ll bet they enjoy it, too

Well, you’ve got “simple” down pretty good. Logical? Not on your life.

You’re starting from the assumption that we think pro-lifers don’t have sex. Given the number of sidewalk bullies who are beyond eager to gab about children and grandchildren and even sometimes bring the little darlings along to frolic around the dismembered fetus signs, I have no fucking clue where this even comes from.  Hell, I’ve had a bully practically dangle a baby in front of the escorts as if we were supposed to either instantly change our minds by the power of cute (granted, she was adorable!) or hiss and hide like vampires exposed to a cross. Yeah, we know they have the sex, so this “logic” does nothing but punt a strawman who you haven’t even bothered to prove in the first place.  You went from “concerned  about people having the wrong kind of sex” straight to “all sex is icky” and only the most uncharitable of readings could get you there.

Then again, given the surprise some pro-lifers have when some pro-choice folk manage to both support the right of an abortion AND have kids of their own (to the point of downright asking pregnant escorts why they don’t abort their wanted pregnancies), strawmen are part and parcel.

Do pro-lifers want people to have sex irresponsibly? Of course not. People shouldn’t have sex until they are ready, and people certainly shouldn’t have unprotected sex if they aren’t prepared to handle the baby who may be conceived as a result. But that doesn’t make the pro-life movement anti-sex.

This may surprise you, but I agree.  As a matter of fact, our side totally agrees with you.  And it’s YOUR side who’s against arming people, especially young people, with the comprehensive knowledge that would help them make responsible choices when it comes to sex.

(and also..nice touch with the wedding couple pic there.  It gives us a hint at what might be defined as “responsible”, and that is where we start to disagree)

 It makes us anti-irresponsible-sex. Most pro-choicers are opposed to irresponsible sex too; given the alarming spread of STDs, you’d have to be stupid to advocate a lifestyle of unprotected, promiscuous sex.

…which is why very few people are for unprotected, promiscuous sex. Very good.  You get points.

Many pro-lifers believe that the only responsible course of action is to abstain from sex altogether until marriage, and I respect that. But others do have sex before marriage (or engage in premarital sexual activity other than vaginal intercourse), and there’s no sense in pretending that the pro-life movement is made up of virgins.

See, we were going good for a minute there. Good for you for bucking the trend of your more theistic kin and acknowledging that sex outside of marriage and sex that isn’t penis in vagina is a thing that people do.  I would recommend promoting that even more…and seeing just how welcoming your ‘godless’ ways are then.  But yes, we were rocking until that last part. Holy record scratch, Batman.

No one’s pretending that part. At all.  Again, it takes a very uncharitable reading to glean “pro-lifers are virgins scared of naughty parts, nya!” from any of what you linked to earlier.  The breeze from the point whizzing over your head must be oh so refreshing.

There is a large space between the two extremes, between the slut-shaming, chastity-belt-wearing caricature and the needless-risk-taking sex maniac. The pro-life movement is made up almost entirely of people in the middle. (And so is the pro-choice movement, for that matter.) We aren’t going to faint at the sight of a nutjob in a penis costume, or scream in horror at women who’ve had sex. But we are going to stand up and oppose any attitude toward sex that treats abortion as just a form of birth control, and that is willing to sacrifice the lives of unborn children in the pursuit of sexual pleasure.

And here you ends things the exact same way as the previous paragraph, start with a reasonable point, and then end with nonsense.  As for the “abortion as birth control” I will direct you to my previous blog post about how nonsensical that claim is. As to your oh-so-dramatic description of abortion as a “sacrifice” to sexual pleasure, well, you’re kinda negating your whole “pro-life isn’t anti-sex” point.

See, pro-life is anti-sex.  They are anti-sex they deem “irresponsible”, a definition that is narrow as all fuck, and they make silly claims that abortions are sacrifices, and that having sexual pleasure outside of their narrow definition is apparently a bad thing, which in turn leads to various and sundry shame tactics like the ones I see every damn Saturday morning. While I am glad you are willing to accept the reality of sex being slightly wider than that narrow definition, banning safe and legal abortions aren’t going to a damn thing but sacrifice living born humans in the pursuit of someone else’s sense of righteousness. If you really cared about that “middle”, you should be telling your side to tamp down that shamey shit and stereotyping those who seek abortions as ‘irresponsible”.

 

And now that I’ve gotten myself all snarked out, behold, folks, my moment of Zen. Ooh-rah!:

…and now all is right with the world. Good night, folks!

Abortions For “Funsies!”

(This is part of a FB and Twitter post that I am expanding on.  Trigger Warning for fetal picture and frank discussion of medical squick below)

 

You won’t believe this, but, I have a lot of respect for certain pro-lifers.  The ones that would not chose an abortion for themselves or suggest not doing it if asked, but will not get in the way (physically, legally, or otherwise) of anyone who wants and/or needs one. They don’t pass around links chock full of gory pictures of ripped up fetuses, and they sure as shit don’t show up to bully patients outside of clinics. They do themselves, and let others do..um…themselves.

I respect that. Honestly.

On the other hand, I have NOOOO respect for so-called “pro-choicers” too chickenshit to say what they are, lest someone ‘think’ they support abortions in situations that DO. NOT. FUCKING. HAPPEN. (i.e. for “funsies!”) or who have some-odd conditionals a person has to meet in order for them to be OK with it.

Because if you had the first fucking clue what is involved in any abortion procedure, that idea would hopefully die a quick painful death. Now, I have proposed a talk for the upcoming FTBCon 3 in which I go through the three most common procedures in the hopes of educating folks who want to know exactly what a person goes through.  Hopefully, hearing about the pain, the discomfort, the awkward positioning, will be enough to finally squash the fear of the supposed spree abortionist!

You know, the ones who treat it like birth control*, those who get it done for FUNSIES? Those harlots who sneak into the “pro-choice” tent, who must be tolerated, but never accepted as One Of Us.  They make us look bad, and pro-lifers love to mention them first when they fight to strip away our rights!  They suck.

They are also, for the most part, imaginary.  I mean, think about for more than a second.  Abortions are expensive, and in most cases you have to cough up that dough up front.  A lot of clinics are closing, so the ones that are still open are miles and miles and hours and hours away, if you’re lucky enough to not live in or near a major city. You will have to take time off work.   A lot of laws limit how long you can go before you can’t have an abortion done, and a lot of laws demand that you take a day or so to “think” about it between appointments.  Some laws force you to look at an ultrasound, whether you want to or not.  Some laws force doctors to rattle off long debunked claims about abortion, whether you want to listen or not.  And that’s just GETTING in the doctor’s office.

You show up for the actual procedure, probably hungry (you can’t eat that day until the procedure is done), probably cranky, probably mourning.  In a lot of places, you have to walk past a gauntlet of bullshit.  Merry bands of morons, waving signs, yelling at you, calling you “Mommy”, calling you a murderer, begging you to stop so they can ‘counsel’ you, shoving brochures of complete crap at you.

According to the back of this brochure, this is an 11 week old fetus.

 

You get inside, and you wait.  Nearly all day.  In a waiting room with other people who are in the same spot as you.  And that’s not even counting the “put your legs up in the stirrups, let’s numb and dilate your cervix in ways that you will absolutely feel. For those without the requisite parts, just imagine having your urethra dilated, with one of these:

Source: Wikimedia

Did your legs just slam shut?  Then welcome to the party!

Oh, and I forgot, afterwards, you might have what has got to be the heaviest period of your possible life.  And if you think taking the pills are a neat way to skip all that, heh, you are aware the contents of the uterus has to go somewhere, right?

Doesn’t that sound like fun? Sign me the fuck up!

Now, just think about for a moment.  Who the fuck would sign up for this…unless they had a DAMNED good reason?

Also, when we, as pro-choicers, entertain that little “..for the lolz” myth, we are repeating the same nonsense the other side does as if such a thing actually exists. And we should stop that shit immediately.  We can’t call ourselves for the right to abortion, if we’re going to separate some into “good reasons” and “bad reasons”.  That’s what the other side does when they are kind enough to offer such “generous’ compromises like the “rape, incest and health of the pregnant person” exemptions, because it’s damned hard to run on the backs of rape victims, incest victims and dead people.  Not that the more far off types don’t try.

There are three reasons we should be acknowledging for any and all abortion procedures:

1. The person doesn’t want to be pregnant. That covers a lot of ground.  Lack of support, done with having kids, not wanting kids at all, was raped or a victim of incest, they all boil down to “I don’t want to be pregnant.”
2. The pregnancy is wanted, but will harm/kill the person carrying it. Only the most special of the pro-lifers find any problem with that.
3. The pregnancy is wanted, but no longer viable. Tragic. And yet, the special pro-lifers don’t seem to care, from what I’ve seen on the sidewalk.

We can force both sides to deal with this reality.  We especially need to step in and make sure those who say they are our allies realize this as well. A lot of people need to reexamine what they mean when they say they are “pro-choice”.  Adding exceptions, or a “but..” isn’t pro-choice. Right now, the right for a safe, legal abortion is under attack, and the other side so far is gaining ground.  We need our side to remember what we are fighting for, and to stop wasting our time and breath acknowledging silly hypotheticals like “what if the person’s going in for her seventh abortion and she’s just doing it for fun or something?”.

In the words of my favorite meme:

Preach it, sister!

 

 

 

 

*Yes, everyone has a story of some friend’s cousin’s sibling twice removed who used abortion as birth control.  They never seem to know anything more about the person though. I can’t find the link, but there was a tumblr post from a woman who, because of her various reactions to various BC methods, chose with her partner to, I think, use fertility awareness, and had a couple of abortions done.  I think we can be grown-up enough to realize there are always exceptions to the “abortion as BC” line, and those reasons are usually more than just “too lazy/poor/stupid/whatever to put on a condom” or whatever.

Why Abortion Videos Are So Important

“They’ll rape you on the table!”

“You’ll die!”

“They’ll rip your baby apart!”

“Have you seen Silent Scream?”

“You don’t know what happens in there!”

 

“You don’t know what happens in there!”

 

And who’s fault is that?

Look, I’m gonna propose something pretty fucking radical today, so strap in.

Abortion procedures ought to be part of comprehensive sex-ed.  In schools. Why?  Because protesters and anti-abortion activists thrive on our collective ignorance. Think about it.  Could you, right now, without Google, explain a 1st trimester clinical abortion?

Go on, I’ll wait (no cheating, clinic workers!)

How about a medication abortion?

Fess up, for a second, you probably conjured up a brief image of what I’ve been calling “fetal snuff porn”, the graphic pictures protesters love to smear all over the damn place.  I know, before I educated myself (as an activist AND as an Abortion Doula to be), I sure did.

This is why we need people telling their stories, their videos, showing up close and personal what actually happens. And I think we should have this knowledge right along with “this is how to make a baby” and “this is how to prevent making a baby” – because it counts as “prevention”.  Arming our young people and ourselves with facts is one of the ways we’re going to defeat the current attacks on reproductive justice. Let’s support these brave folks who have put their peace of mind on the line (because holy crap have Emily Letts received attacks and self-righteous condemnation from pro-lifers AND mealy mouthed pro-choicers*) in order to give us facts.  Let us embrace every story that comes forth.

Embrace this knowledge.

 

*Oh yeah, if your ‘pro-choice’ has conditions as to when it’s “okay” to have an abortion, AND you try to shame someone who doesn’t meet those conditions, YOU ARE NOT VERY ‘PRO-CHOICE’.

Femi’s Rules for Protesters (based on today’s tweets)

So our merry band of morons have been more pushy considering the property line they are not supposed to cross.  Because Screw the Rules, I have Jesus.

“Good morning.  That is the first and last time you will hear that from me, so savor it.  Here we go:

Rule one: If you are an adult, I don’t like you.  I don’t care if you say that you “love me”; that’s creepy and you don’t know me.  I don’t care if your God loves me.  As a matter of fact, if you feel the need to tell me that, like you have the express line to God, I don’t like you even more.

Rule one point one: If you’re a kid and you’re here, I feel sorry for you.  There are better ways to spend a Saturday morning than being dragged to a clinic to wander with signs near pictures of medical waste.  Like the park near the clinic.

Protesters have been testing my patience already wrt the property line #protectthezone #clinicescorts

— Major Sideeye (@feminace) May 31, 2014

Rule two: Become familiar with the property line.  Tell your newbies.  Ignorance is no longer an excuse.  I WILL call the cops on your ass.

Aww, creepy grandpa has the sads because we'd rather talk to a stranger than his creepy ass #ProtectTheZone #clinicescorts

— Major Sideeye (@feminace) May 31, 2014

Rule three: We don’t have to talk to you.  For any reason.

Rule four: We can talk to anyone we want.  Deal.

Lady in blue said she wasn't an anti. Knew others by first name, held lit. #protectthezone #screwtherulesshehasjesus pic.twitter.com/OOPa4L7axG

— Major Sideeye (@feminace) May 31, 2014

Rule five: Don’t fucking LIE to us.  If you’re a protester, we’ll figure it the fuck out. We talk to each other.  We talk to our security guy.  The fucking ninth commandment?  Your rules. Not mine.

Apparent new tactic: young white women. Because creepy old dudes asking about your womb content was never going to work #protectthezone

— Major Sideeye (@feminace) May 31, 2014

Rule Six: You are creepy, young or old.  If you bothered to think about it for five seconds, you would get that.  Complete strangers don’t owe you information about their bodies or medical condition.  Not that you would care.  I heard a woman was on the floor bawling after you dismissed her telling you her fetus’ lungs weren’t working.  You are shit.  Actually, let me make that a rule:

Rule Seven: You are shit.  The very thing you are doing is shitty and you are shit.  This is why you get the disdain you whine about.  But hey, that’s what gets you people going, I know.  You don’t give a fuck about babies, you just wanna get decent people pissed off so you can go home and wank (figuratively and/or literally) about how persecuted you are. We know your game.